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Then you'll just have to accept it anyway.

[ You know. In this ridiculous what-if scenario where Inigo would somehow manage to cross an entire desert by himself just to go get some kisses.

Even he isn't that stupid. Probably. ]

We can't just live on a Tidus kiss schedule, you know! [ There's definitely some mirth in that. A jokeyness that settles the flustered butterflies in his stomach a little, making this feel a bit more comfortable, more natural. His shoulders relax a bit, finding warmth in this still close proximity with Tidus, in a space with just the two of them. ] Sometimes it has to be an Inigo kiss schedule too!

I don't know if I agreed to that! [ Get this feigned huffiness, ineffective with the grin wide on his face, a cheekiness barely shining through. ] Didn't this start 'cause you said I need to handle you more? And I can't let you just get what you want...!

[ It's happening. Holidays out in snow are now slipping into real game canon. Tidus pats at Inigo's chest with both hands, as if settling something. ]

Guess that means no more kissing 'til I can fit it in the schedule! And I'm a pretty busy guy.

[ Clearly, by how busy he's been messing around. ]

[ .. wait, what is happening?

Inigo sure didn't expect things to get turned on him so quickly. He grows quiet, staring at Tidus with a bit of a surprised expression - like the way dogs get when you do something unexpected. Not understanding what's going on, and trying to wait and see if it's going to change.

But then it doesn't. Tidus doesn't say a 'just kidding'. (Even though Inigo should be able to figure out as much, considering the other guy's entire demeanour, but still.) ]

But.. you're not doing anything at all right now.

[ Even his tone kind of sounds like he's begging instinctively. ]

[ Siiigh, listen to this sigh! ] I should be going out and doing some patrols - you know how it is. We've been goofing around in here so long...

And we didn't even eat our food! [ Wow, what a time to remember about that, and Tidus looks down on the floor where it's been left, the gravy that's pooled out. Whoops. ] Ergh, good thing this is a fake room...

[ So the five second rule doesn't count? But with voice that sounds decided, even though his body isn't moving: ] Well! It was fun hanging out with you, Inigo.

[ goodbye forever, bro. ]

.. you aren't actually going to leave, right?

[ Listen to that tone. This is Inigo trying to figure out whether Tidus is pulling a very lame prank on him or not. His jaw drops to let his mouth open and close a few times, as if he's looking for words, but can't find any..

Until he has a realisation. ]

Wait, you can't go anywhere! [ Because Inigo is still on his lap!! Hah, he looks so proud of this realisation, and he even wiggles a little, grinding onto those legs. Yeah, you try shaking off this weight, pal!! ]

[ Oh no, Inigo's found his one weakness! But it's kind of cute seeing how gullible Inigo is being about this. And very much means - why would Tidus stop? ]

But Inigo, I have to go and be a hero for the people! [ He's putting on a convincing voice, waving his hands a little. ] You don't want to stop me being a hero for the people, do you?

[ You know, that thing he regularly talks about being and going out to do ever.

But he can do a nice pleading voice, even if he's wearing a smile. ]

I mean..!

[ He makes an odd half gurgled, half strangled sort of sound, like Inigo is really waging a war with himself right about now. He can't deny that they should probably be out there, keeping the streets safe for people.. especially since even though there's less of that to do here than during previous missions, he still can't resist the call of duty somewhere in the back of his head.

But.. he also just like this.

Just sitting here like this. The taste of Tidus still lingering on his lips. Looking at the other's face.

.. would it be too selfish? ]

Staying like this a little bit more couldn't hurt.. right? [ Just look at this innocent expression on his face. ]

Inigo! Choosing yourself over the safety of the other people!?

[ What a real surprise! But he laughs, and he's patting Inigo on the chest, quick to follow it up with- ] Don't worry, we have plenty of people out there watching the streets. But Inigo [ he gives a husky, sly tone. ] Putting yourself first? There's that new confidence I was talking about.

[ Mmmhmmmm. Inigo, how sexy. He's playful, teasing. But it's nice too, Inigo being selfish. Given how the guy wouldn't even sit to eat back at Terra without Tidus tricking him into sticking around. ]

But- [ one but- ] you think we should pick up that food? Uh, even if we don't eat it.

[ .......but Tidus isn't against still eating the potatoes and steak. ]

[ DON'T CALL HIM OUT TOO HARD ON IT, OR HE'LL CHANGE HIS MIND.

In fact, even just at Tidus mentioning it like that his face is already starting to grow a little red. He's not used to it, okay, and it feels kind of weird, and he isn't too sure if he's not doing a bad thing here..

But he manages to swallow protest. He has to be confident. Tidus makes it sound like a good thing, so maybe he can learn to think like this a little more often?

.. Inigo puts the thought out of his head for now when he glances around and sees the food on the ground.

Oh.

Slowly he slides off Tidus's lap, instead sitting down next to him on the sofa again. ]

I really wanted that steak..

[ He sounds so much like a sad puppy. Why did he have to be so thirsty? Curse you, Inigo from a little while ago, for ruining that steak for him by dropping it! ]

[ ...should he be that guy? Tidus pulls his legs towards him, not wanting to scoot them onto the floor until he can see where his feet are going. And when he does... ]

I'm not gonna waste a steak that big. [ IT'S NOT EVEN MOLDY YET, INIGO! But you think Tidus does believe the food wants to bite him with the way he uses the ends of his forefinger and thumb to pick up a steak, flop it back into the lunchbox. Got to use more for these potatoes...

HE'S GOING TO BE THAT GUY. A SAVAGE!!

But it's nice for Inigo not to die again after receiving a compliment, no matter how hot his face got for it. Inigo is truly stronger these days than he once was before. ]

[ Inigo doesn't know what's about to happen until he suddenly sees Tidus taking that food that was on the ground.

And putting it into the lunchbox.

This absolutely would not have been a problem if Inigo came fresh out of his world. This is totally a medieval thing to do. But now he's on the train, he's been influenced by others. By a force that's apparently strong enough for him to gasp when he witnessed this sight. ]

Tidus..! You're eating off the ground!

[ Whose influence could be strong enough to have spooked Inigo this much?

Well, there's only one possibility when it comes to that, huh. ]

Roland told me you die if you eat things off the ground! [ He definitely did not say it with that sort of wording.

But that's apparently the message Inigo got from it.

(Hi, Tidus, this is your sexy kisses guy.) ]

[ OUT OF EVERYTHING FROM THE TRAIN THIS IS WHAT YOU TAKE TO HEART?! ]

You won't die. [ Pfft, pah! What kind of junk is Roland telling Inigo! Some pretty Roland things, for one. ] Look, this is a ghost floor! It's not even a real floor, so it's fine! And I want my steak!

[ Which is the real big reason here before any else, and Tidus continues to put the last few nearby potatoes into his lunchbox. There we gooo. No saving the gravy, but there's some of it still left clinging inside the container, so not a big deal. His eyes glance aside...

...where he happens to notice the other steak sitting half-out of the other lunchbox. ]

But if you don't want your steak...!

[ And to test this position Inigo's taking, Tidus's hand goes slow-mo towards the other piece of steak just left there, allll alone and alllll for him!!

No steak for Inigo!! ]

[ How is his faith already being tested in the very first situation he's encountered where he has to put it to use in the first place.

Roland didn't prepare himself for what he should do when he's being peer pressured into eating food off the floor! S-Should he be strong? Roland would tell him to not let himself get bullied into doing something, right? ]

Y-Yeah.. [ He's trying so hard to be strong.

He's gritting his teeth.

But he's failing already. ]

You.. You can have it..! I'm not s-someone who.. eats off the ground.. and dies..

[ He's starting to sound sadder about the potential loss of that floor steak by the second. ]

[ Oh, is this situation ripe for so much mischief. Eating on some steak and pretending to start choking and having Inigo react in the worst, overdramatically way possible? It's just like every other situation that's happened in, and not even on purpose! ]

Okay. [ And so very easily does Tidus take the second piece of floor steak, tipping the extra lunchbox upright at the very least before putting the meat into his container. Tidus spots a fork and knife and picks them up, givig them a bit of a wipe (if reluctantly) on the side of his trousers.

But then he's slowly cutting away. Don't mind him; he's really got to go to town on this thing. Joking along the way- ] Man, I gotta remember to pack a steak knife!

[ Haha, isn't this a fun ol' laugh, Inigo. But he finally gets into the piece, lifts it out on his fork...

...and holds it out, meat pointed towards Inigo, asking innocently: ]

Sure you don't wanna risk your life on one bite of delicious floor steak?

[ Really, Inigo? ]

[ ROLAND ALERT, ROLAND ALERT.

He is being tempted right now! Tempted, I tell you, by a wicked devil! Just look at the way Tidus jiggles that bite of steak right at him. It's right there, it's so tantilizing. It may have gotten a bit cold compared to before, but Inigo can still smell it, and it smells so good. ]

I.. I can't! Can you imagine what Roland would say?!

[ Inigo looks like he's trying so hard to not give in, but then a sound interrupts the silence--

The sound of Inigo's stomach loudly growling, that is. It sounds loud enough to be able to be mistaken for a bear. ]

[ Well.

With Inigo's stomach speaking, does Tidus need to? He doesn't for a good moment, though he looks from Inigo's gut and back up to his face, a glance that can speak everything that needs to be said.

The fork hangs in the air, the piece of meat still stuck to it.

Does he need to?

He might as well. ]

Roland's never gonna know.

[ Eat the steak, bro. ]

Yes, he is going to know! I know how this is going to play out. I'm going to eat this, and then you're going to call Roland over the SCA, and--

[ Despite his rambling - or perhaps better put, despite the content of his ramblings - Inigo is leaning over to eat that bite of steak off the fork all the same.

The flesh is weak.

And he continues on, even, as if nothing happened, just speaking with his mouth full. ]

--then you're going to tell him, 'oh, guess what, Roland, Inigo eat floor steak!' I know your tricks by now!

Well good thing you're dying anyway, right?

[ This is a rather bemusing scene, watching Inigo both take to complaining but also to eating up the steak. You know what though? At least it's not just the former. So Tidus does the kind effort of slicing another piece of steak. ... for himself, 'cause he wants to eat too. But he had a cut ready, so even as he chews, it takes a second or so for the fork to lift back up with a new piece. ]

This isn't a bad way of going out.

[ Heh. ]

[ Wow, Tidus, and who's going to explain it to Roland when he finds their corpses with an empty lunchbox in the ghost room, huh? Who's going to do that!!

Inigo definitely keeps eating though. Maybe he's enjoying being forkfed like this a little too much, even though it doesn't show in the way he's just whining and complaining.

But that's Inigo for you. He's already chomping down on the new piece. ]

Seriously, if I end up getting a weird feeling in my stomach later today, I'm going to scream.

That's just the gem you've got in there, c'mon!

[ The gem always makes a come back. But Tidus isn't going to sit here feeding the guy forever, giving him a nudge on the leg and nodding his head to the other lunchbox left on the floor. ] Go on.

[ Pick it up! As Tidus stabs his fork into the rest of the steak left, holding it up to be placed in Inigo's lunchbox. ]

You've had worse before I bet. What about that bug planet? The one with all the bug food? Or even back home?

[ Huuuuh? ]

Don't remind me about the gem!

[ Does Inigo really believe that gem is still there? Or is he just being dramatic?

Who knows. It's hard to tell with how convinced he sounded just a moment ago, mid-chew of his bite of steak before swallowing it. Then he picks up his fork so he can take that offered steak into his lunchbox. There's a moment where he gives it a half-wary stare before he starts cutting into it for himself. ]

But.. still, I've eaten much stranger things.. but that's before I knew about stuff like food safety! [ Roland, in trying to teach the boy, has apparently brought the fear of god even further into his life. ] I didn't know how dangerous it could be. If I have to go out, I at least want it to be some cool battlefield death, not because I decided to eat floor steak.

[ Tidus Will Never Let Go Of Stomach Gem.

But alright, he will for now, the two of them finally eating their dinner semi-normally (as normal as it comes to this pair). Tidus cuts into his own steak ~~now tht he's ha extra bites out of Inigo's~~, listening to his friend's grumbling with a silly smile on his face. ]

Nothing's going to happen to you 'cause it was on the floor for a second. [ ...okay, closer to a few minutes, BUT. ] If you left it on the ground for a week? Sure, but it'd looked gross and dried out by then, there's no way you'd eat it!

[ Right?? Right??? Right Tidus sticks some meat in his mouth, saying while he chews- ]

Goingh out ihn a fighhth suhcks tooh. Howh about dying in yorh sleep?

[ Did he want to go out that way ever? ... not that he ever thought about it. ]

[ Funny thing you'd say that, Tidus..

But apparently there's no time to discuss medieval eating habits. No, instead there's time discuss medieval dying habits, because Inigo shakes his head at the suggestion. ]

No way, that's so boring. [ It's weird. For as much as Inigo has always hated fighting, there's still allure in the idea of dying that way, rather than any other.

At least it would feel like he did something. Like he meant something. Maybe that's it. ]

And it feels so.. selfish? If you die in battle, you at least die knowing that you tried to help someone out.

[ It's a heavy topic, sure, but Inigo speaks about it rather casually regardless. Maybe it's because they're doing it over dinner, right after having an extremely dumb conversation. ]

[ It's a bit morbid, but Tidus looks up with a difficult face, thinking about all the times he's been fighting. ]

Sure, I guess if you were fighting for something at the time, [ he could see Inigo's reasoning in that, ] but what if you got jumped by a fiend or monster while you were trying to get somewhere? [ And he even waves up a hand and bring it down, to give the scene more picture. ]

That'd suck! I got taken out by some dumb fiend 'cause I was trying to get to the next town? No way! [ Ugh! ]

I wanna kick whoever's ass I'm fighting!

[ ...which goes for any fight too, but you know what, isn't that the true goal? Not to die?? ]

Well, it's not like any random fiend is just going to take you down.

[ That's even easier to say with a nonchalant smile on his face. Inigo has seen Tidus fight so many times now that he can say it confidently. It'd take something more powerful than that to do something to Tidus, let alone actually kill him. ]

I know you! You're tough!

So you don't have to worry about that in the first place, right? [ He'd make a joke about them being heroes, but.. considering that's exactly what the train seems to think of it, it has a bit of a bitter aftertaste. Bitter enough that he leaves it at this, shoving another bite of steak into his mouth. ]

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