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Well.. yeah, otherwise there would be nothing left for them to eat!

[ .. wait.

Do.. those odd temple people even.. eat fish? Inigo suddenly isn't so sure. He doesn't think they mentioned it, but with the sheer amount of fish around, he was just assuming..

He manages to snap himself out of his confusion a moment later, though he's still wondering about it now. ]

That's why I made sure to not hunt all the bears in Irivar either. I left some!

[ Inigo pauses.

Glances at Tidus.

Quickly glances away from Tidus. ]

Were you.. uh, going to get dressed?

[ Do people care about eating bear as much as Inigo does?? Experts have yet to find out.

But there, behold - Tidus's opening! That he gets to prepare for when Inigo turns his gaze away, so Tidus does: by rolling his shoulders some, straightening his back just slightly. Asking, in a very casual but meaningful manner: ]

Well, I was wondering if there was any point? You know.

[ You know.

Come and look at him again bro, with eyes on Inigo, a hint hint smile.

(oh yeah this is totally smooth!!!) ]

[ It's extremely smooth by these one-braincelled boys' standard.

Except rather than being impressed by the smoothness, Inigo instead just looks.. rather clueless. He throws the blankest look possible in Tidus's direction - making sure to look at his face rather than those pecs, thanks. ]

Why.. wouldn't there be a point?

[ Inigo is so not following.

Even the hint, hint smile is not working, apparently. ]

[ You know what, it's okay!! He's leading into the good stuff, so of course Inigo needs more to know what's on Tidus's mind. Except Tidus is about as forward as most of his actions have shown, with a giddiness running through him as he leans forward against his risen knee, wobbling the arm on top of it like a shy schoolgirl. ]

Well, say if we got to kissing... and we wanted to do some more after.

[ And Tidus does his absolute best to keep his eyes on Inigo, smile turning into a tooth-filled grin; holding until his can help the laughter that comes out, how goofy he feels.

But he won't back down, adding: ]

What d'you think?

[ At least that is so much harder to miss, if not straight up impossible. Who wouldn't know what that 'some more after' is?

But despite knowing exactly what Tidus means.. no, exactly because he knows exactly what Tidus means, it feels like the knowledge of what Tidus is asking him here is hitting Inigo like a truck. He's still just staring, but rather than out of confusion, it's more out of surprise now. ]

You want to again..? [ It's not like it'd be their first time, after all. But Tidus looks so giddy about it, excited, and-- ] With me..?

[ And all Inigo can think of is that dumb, dumb conversation earlier about the whole lap pillow thing.

His cheeks burn, and suddenly he can't hold Tidus's gaze anymore as his own starts to dip. ]

[ 'With me'? At least Tidus isn't the only one being goofy here, that little addition getting Tidus to look at Inigo quizzically until he lets out a tiny laugh, tilts his head. ]

Who else? [ But he knows how to be thoughtful, or to try and be under the circumstances, tone softening as he continues, wiggling the leg he's essentially holding onto now: ] I've been interested, but, you know, things got miserable after the train decided... you know.

[ Taiki and Roland. He could say their names, but he doesn't really want to, right now. Not when even referencing has put a damper on the mood he was going for.

Anyway- ] But... I thought it might be fun, and... we both really like kissing? Soooo...

[ Sooo. ]

You wanna?

[ Very sexy proposal. ]

[ Incredibly sexy.

But maybe sexy enough to work, since Inigo does take a step over to him, and then another, and.. well, then he's already right in front of Tidus, considering how small these rooms are. It only takes two steps to practically cross them. ]

I want to.

[ Even if it's not quite as enthusiastic as it'd be under other circumstances - their current ones being the ones Tidus is referencing with his 'you know' - it still sounds like he means it.

But as he sits down on the bed next to Tidus, it does look like he's still waffling about something. Still wanting to say something, judging by the way his gaze keeps nervously shifting.

Then he finally says it. ]

.. I'm not a girl with a soft lap though.

[ Is he still hung up on that? Yes. Entirely. Because it's always the small dumb things that Tidus doesn't think about that somehow snowball into a huge thing in Inigo's mind. ]

[ It's one of those times Tidus's brain doesn't quite connect the dots on why that particular point is being brought back up here. He's feeling good about Inigo coming next to him, Tidus dropping his leg to dangle off the side of the bed; and then he's paused as he has to think about what's said. Brain really working here... ]

Noo... [ Nooo, it isn't....but the next part takes him a moment to consider, an offer that he hasn't put a lot of thought into before.

... ]

...but if you want me to put my head there, [ he says tentatively, a note lower, ] I might think about it.

[ A 'think about it' that doesn't really have Tidus looking at Inigo confidently, but he's not entirely avoiding his eye, either.

...for now, anyway. ]

What?

[ It's a word said with a slight squeak to it, considering Inigo is both caught off guard by the offer and then simultaneously confused by it. Usually he'd assume that it's just a straightforward offer, that Tidus is sappy enough to offer to do it all the same, but considering the content of his earlier offer, Inigo also isn't too sure if Tidus doesn't mean something more by it.

And both options feel equally flustering right now. Inigo's jaw drops, his mouth hanging slightly open without really realising it, and a hand raises to rub the back of his neck as he thinks. He's looking pretty awkward now. ]

N-No, I just-- uh--

[ It's not even that he wants to turn down his offer, he just wants to clarify his dumb feelings!! But it's so hard to find the right words, especially in a delicate situation like this. ]

I just.. I just got worried if it's troubling because I'm a guy.. [ His mouth opens and closes, like he still can't find the right words, even though he's already speaking. ] I mean, you'd rather be doing all this with a girl, right?

[ Oh.

Oh.

The pieces of this Inigo jigsaw puzzle are clicking into place, if still needing a few seconds to figure out how the sex part connects with the lap comment. And then he gets it, that Inigo has been holding onto that dumb comment about laps since they talked about them, and.

This is an Inigo Thing. And it's a bit perplexing to be faced by in the current state he's in, but is Inigo seeing that? Maybe he just needs to be reminded, with Tidus's arms coming to rest across his shoulders, hanging loosely there as he gets them both to face each other a little bit more.

And he needs a second to pump himself to say what he's going to say, but- ]

I'm sitting in my underwear here asking you if you wanna have sex right now. [ Softly, gently, a hint of mirth; with eyes not settling on Inigo's face if he's not looking at him, but flickering back just in case he is looking, so he can look back. ] If I didn't want to be here right now... well. Would I be offering to go down on you?

[ Which even he can't believe, heat warming his face, gaze averting. ]

No, it's..

[ Something he can't explain, maybe. How mortifying it can be to be a gay guy trying to do this sort of stuff with a atraight guy. And the straight part was pretty easy to forget after the whole post-birthday thing, but Tidus's remark there while they were trying to meditate dragged Inigo right back down to that cruel reality.

He's just chasing something he can't have. And the closer he gets to it, the harsher it is to be reminded of that fact. How does he explain that to someone not going through the same thing? How does he explain it to Tidus without mentioning that his feelings might have a little bit more to them than just the way Tidus makes him feel when they kiss or go beyond that?

Inigo knows it's dumb. Especially at a moment like this, when Tidus probably just wants to get down to it, and it'll just seem like Inigo is whining. Especially as he can't get himself to meet Tidus's gaze, no matter how the other drags him closer. Each of them averting their gazes in awkwardness, in embarrassment.

Should he just say nothing? Just let them go at it? There's no way Tidus wouldn't notice him holding something back. ]

It's just hard when you mention girls. [ Even though he knows it's not like the other is doing anything on purpose, or was even doing anything on purpose back there. ] It makes me feel like I'm.. wrong, or something.

[ It's definitely not an all-encompassing way to put it, but there's no better way to put it into words. ]

It's not as if you couldn't get a girl on the train to do this with you if you really tried.

[ Inigo refuses to believe otherwise in that department. Tidus is so charming, and there's definitely single girls their age here.

But that's the point he's trying to make: is it really so weird to believe he's not a first choice when Tidus isn't into men the way Inigo is, and to therefore be surprised at all of this? ]

[ This is a conversation where Tidus needs time to think about what's being said, what he thinks. Where it becomes wrong or difficult for the other guy if he mentions about girls, and how does Tidus feel about that? Should he just never? But why would it be a problem?

One's demons don't have to make sense. But he has to wonder how to approach it, when it's hard for him to figure out. His gaze flickering as before, feeling the need to speak sooner than he has any idea what to say. ]

But I'm not... when I said that, it was just a joke. I...

[ What? What? He pauses with his brow furrowing, and he looks at Inigo with a difficult expression, mouth pressed. Until he lets go, and with a small breath before he figures something of what he wants to say. ]

When we got into this, we told each other that this wasn't nothing - we promised each other that. I'm not really looking to get with, even a girl. I'm not looking at you and wishing, 'geez, if only he was a girl'!

You're Inigo, you'll always be Inigo. And we just have... different thoughts about things sometimes. But that's alright, right? I think putting my head in a girl's lap would be cute... but you'd like it from anyone -- friends, whoever you're close to. That's just how we are!

[ Is he going on a bit too much? He pulls his mouth, his arms still resting off Inigo's shoulders, until he drags them to bring his hands to settle on them instead. ]

You're still the only guy I'd trust to do this with.

I know..

[ That they promised. That he shouldn't fuss so much about this, and yet he can't help it, the feelings bubbling up within him before he even has a chance to stop them. But then again - it's not like his insecurities only play up when it comes to this particular thing, right?

And it doesn't help that he spent his life with so much rejection, including the one time he did actually get together with a guy ending up in a weird rejection. And said guy also being into girls doesn't help the feeling.

Still, Inigo knows that it can't be easy for Tidus to talk about this either. He knows the other is trying so hard, and Inigo needs to at least match him in that effort, even though it feels so hard when he actually does look over at Tidus. ]

.. sorry that I always worry so much. [ Look, he knows it isn't fun to deal with for himself, so he can only imagine it must be even less fun for others to deal with. ] The whole thing just spiralled out of control in my head, I guess. 'specially since I didn't think you'd ask for us to do anything..

I've wanted to. [ Which - he's already said once, he remembers, but it's still the truth! ] But you don't need to worry - I still like you plenty! That doesn't change! You know, I think it's like...

[ Hmm. What a time to sit back on a folded leg, taking back his hands to fold up his arms. ]

You know how you said you like guys more than girls? And every time I tried to talk about their looks, you just had nothing to say! But you'd still go with someone you loved, right?

It's like that. Except... well, the same the same, so you shouldn't start worrying too deep. [ He takes the second to wave his hands, like let's cut that worry session, here! ] Either way, this whole thing is about us, so none of that really matters! Soo...

[ oh gosh he started blabbering unnecessarily, right?! ]

[ Maybe not so unnecessarily.

Because Inigo starts to slowly nod. ]

I.. uh, I think I actually kind of get it, when you put it that way. [ Because it's so much easier to understand Tidus's feelings when he can compare it to his own feelings about girls.

If anything, it makes this mean a lot more. Because Inigo knows it's not something that comes so easy. He has - and had - a lot of good female friends here on the train and back home, but he doesn't think he's ever felt that way about any of them before. And so Tidus must not be that into the idea of doing this with just any of his male friends either.

.. and yet here they are. ]

Thanks. For.. thinking of me as a special guy, then. [ Though he'll leave that part at that, not wanting to embarrass Tidus any further.

Instead he reaches out, putting a hand on the other's knee. ]

And for reassuring me when I'm being dumb. Guess that means I have a lot to make up for now.

[ You know.

In the wink wink, nudge nudge sort of way. Since he hasn't forgotten that this is where this whole thing started a few moments ago. ]

[ His rambling on helped?!

Tidus is glad - that his impromptu thinking actually led to somewhere useful, and that it seems to ease Inigo, noticeable in the way he doesn't continue to wear that expression that seems to drag down his entire face. That's always a good sign, showing Inigo isn't just trying to shove this aside without being fully satisfy.

So Tidus chuckles, putting his hands on his legs, not bumping into the hand on one as he leans forward just an inch. ]

You do. [ Though Tidus isn't thinking wink wink, nudge nudge. ] Way you can start? Is by showing me a smile!

A reeaal big and good one! [ Like the one that's spreading on Tidus's face. ]

I'm waiting!

[ chop chop, bro!! Let's feel all good and cheerful, first!! ]

[ This definitely isn't as wink wink, nudge nudge as Inigo expected.

And that sheer fact does manage to catch him off guard, considering he was entirely anticipating a different angle. The unsureness on his face fades, but it's instead replaced by him blinking blankly at Tidus in surprise.

He then lets out a sound that'd almost sound offended, if it didn't sound kind of amused at the same time. ]

I know you don't want me to force one.

[ Please, if anyone can tell at this point when he's forcing smiles, it's Tidus of all people. ]

I want you to show me what your biggest smile can be right now! [ It's playful, nothing really heavy or expecting anything genuine. Tidus leaning back, giving a tilt of his head. ]

Want me to go first? C'mon, it doesn't have to be your best smile. I did it once. You go like thiiis...!

[ Here we go Inigo, Tidus is putting on his best smile. ]

Gooohhtttthh...ihhht...!

[ please stop trying to speak with your teeth clenched. ]

[ Inigo stares.

And then, one or two moments later, he instead bursts out into laughter. As if this is some sort of normal occasion, and Tidus isn't sitting here in just his underwear pulling the dumbest face imaginable. ]

What's that! [ Inigo is also having a hard time talking, but honestly, that's more just since he's having a hard time even breathing between all the laughs that escape him. ] You look like someone is threatening you with a sword to your throat!

[ Please, Tidus. You can't think that looks natural. ]

That's definitely not your best smile. And I like to think I'm an expert in that area. [ The area of Tidus smiles, yes. ]

[ Laugh get!

Tidus holds onto the smile for a while longer (more like a smiling cringe) before he lets go with his own goofy laugh, giving Inigo a playful punch to the shoulder. ]

Oh yeah? You the Prince of Smiles now? Show me how a real pro does it then! Come on!

[ This is it, you can't back out now, Inigo. You're in this dumb, silliest contest between two half or nearly naked guys in their room. The best remedy when recovering from the doldrums.

(tidus's underwear is red, jus fyi) ]

[ Please, Tidus. Know who you're challenging here while sitting there in your red underwear. Inigo truly is the master of this sort of thing after forcing smiles for years upon years upon years.

So he instantly smiles. Granted, it helps that he was laughing already, but he's got a smile stretching across his face in no time. It looks super genuine too, despite him summoning it on the spot. ]

You can't win from me when it comes to this!

[ But Tidus has won when it comes to distractions.

Both distracting from Inigo's own mood from a moment ago, and from Tidus's red underwear. ]

No waayy, you're cheatin'! How're you doing iiiit!

[ He's all volume and somewhere being acting aghast through a delightful tone, a far wider and more natural smile spread across his own face now. Even through the wild 'disbelieving' shake of his head he gives.

Tidus sits his hands on the sides of Inigo's face, gives the act of inspecting his face, but no more than a moment. A hum of a sound leaving his lips as he sits there like that, looking at Inigo. ]

Feeling better?

[ Heheh. ]

[ B-Bro, not too close while you're all gorgeous and near-naked like this--

Though thankfully the mood is just a little too goofy for Inigo to fully lose himself in the fluster of that thought. Instead he just keeps on smiling, though his perfectly manufactured smile melts into something a little bit softer when he stares into Tidus's eyes. ]

Yes, you goof.

[ How does Tidus even do it, changing the mood around so easily? It's almost like magic, though Inigo is infinitely grateful for it.

One of his hands lands on Tidus's thigh, resting there, though it doesn't seem to be deliberately sensual in any way. More just Inigo wanting more contact at a moment like this. ]

Don't think I don't know what you were doing. But it works.

That's the part that matters.

[ The working part. Tidus slides his hands from Inigo's cheeks to resting them on the curve of his shoulder by his neck, his smile goofy but genuine. This mood better than what it was before, to see Inigo smiling again too, comfortable. ]

So... this is the part where we can make out now, right? Man to man.

[ See, no women here! All guys! Men. (very stupid young men) ]

The most manly of makeouts.

[ Isn't that what you want, bro.

Let's be real though, it's just Inigo going along with the joke - in a tone that's light enough that it seems real, like the clouds really did lift away from his heart.

Enough so for him to lean a little closer, trying to not put too much pressure on that hand resting on Tidus's thigh as he's doing so, before he's fully leaning in to kiss the other. ]

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blitzcheer - 2021-06-23 12:02 (UTC) - Expand