It's those two simple words that get Inigo's head to stop spinning with thoughts for a moment, gaze instead turning to curiosity as he glances over at Roland. At first he assumes Roland is making a work call - especially since Inigo doesn't even have any idea of how many the other is ignoring right now, he just thinks this happens to be the first one that had to be done this afternoon! - but his eyebrows raise further as he starts hearing just what Roland is talking about on the phone.
And in true kid fashion - despite the fact that Inigo is already late in his teens - he can't help but lean over and try to listen in. One hand resting on Roland's thigh to support him as he leans over, practically cheek to cheek with the older guy as he tries to hear what's going on on the other side of the line without even bothering to hide what he's doing.
Inigo can't really hear it, mostly just hears Roland speak, but he isn't giving up just yet! He lingers there all the way until the call ends, although he's at least good enough to stay quiet.
(Even though he almost asked Roland to say hi from him. Look, Inigo had to be careful at first when he showed up here without any real identity in this world - but now one has been forged for him, he sure wants to catch up on the socializing he's missed. Or rather, he just wants to get to know the people important to Roland, the ones he spends time with when he's away from their little family. But-- look! He's being good and not interrupting things!)
He does move back to sit on the couch properly again though when there's no more listening in to do. And scrolls down all the way until he sees the name of the app under the icon.
"This one?"
He's even already pressing it, since it looks right! Little does Inigo know what kind of Pandora's Box he's opening here...
"W--Woah, Roland! Something's playing already!" INSTA-PLAY IS TOO MUCH FOR THIS MEDIEVAL BOY, SLOW DOWN.
Roland is so comfortable with Inigo's presence that even when he tries to overhear the conversation, he doesn't flinch or move around. In fact, he might be happy to know Inigo didn't catch a single lick of that conversation, especially when all Sadie did at the end of it was to laugh at Roland claiming 'he can take over from here.' "No offense, Mr. President, but you're not exactly very good at these things." RUDE. He is a fast learner! He has a tablet for emails! A phone for calls and video chats with his cabinet!
But that bravado, that confidence, it all melts away the moment Inigo finds the TikRok app - it was spelled in one word apparently, such are the gimmicks of the modern world - and the phone speakers blast with a video that does indeed, insta-play.
"What in the - !?"
Guess who is also caught totally off-guard. First of all, Inigo did not press a single thing, so why was a video playing? Second of all, why in the world was this new smartphone so loud? Where's the volume control on this thing? The side buttons, right...?! And lastly as Roland and Inigo watch the short clip that plays for around ten to twelve seconds, he looks completely dumbfounded, resting a hand on his knee and leaning forward till it finishes rolling out. INIGO, PLEASE DON'T SCROLL DOWN LEST THEY GET ANOTHER INSTA-PLAY VIDEO --
"Why would you do that to your poor pet dog and post it on this thing...?"
Wow this is going to be the blind leading the blind, Roland that's a Time Warp Filter, but no one is going to tell him that today. He refuses to give his interns power by admitting he actually really did need their help!
Excuse me, what is that you just said? Don't scroll down?
Because that's exactly what Inigo is doing. Can you blame him? It's practically instinct! He's trying to get this sudden moving video of this odd, odd dog face away from him, so he's scrolling down in an attempt to make it disappear!
But of course that doesn't work. Instead of giving them blissful silence, it just goes right over to the next video, which happens to be this one.
.. which just makes Inigo's jaw drop as he stares at it. Unsure of what he's watching.
Why was this man making such weird arm gestures? Why is he making sounds? Who is he trying to be? Who is he trying to make fun of? Why was this worth turning on a camera for and posting on the internet???? Roland is not going to panic. This was an app. Made by humans. The humans of the modern earth. This was not going to defeat him. Goodness, he just wanted Inigo to have an app to use to post his dancing that didn't have to last a whole song!
Roland's frown is deep as he tries to scroll down further, attempting to at least lower the volume. Why do they keep playing without him having to press the play button? How much has he actually missed and what part of this is basic technological incompetence?? The answer lies in the next video that plays --
-- and he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it!! He makes a sound of frustration as his hands reach for his phone by his lap again, though his eyes are focused on what they're watching.
"Sadie, if you're pranking me..." He's already dialing her number. "Don't worry, pup. We'll get to the bottom of this." This is a NATIONAL EMERGENCY. Intern Units, please pick up, you punk teenagers showing him and his new medieval son an app that parades around as an agent of chaos! In the meantime, Inigo should get the hint to stop scrolling around, right? Roland leaves one hand on his wrist to try and signal him to pause, but since when could this guy control teens anyway?
Ironically enough Roland's reaction feels more reassuring to Inigo than it would have felt if Roland had just known what was going on. All of this is so weird, and Roland looking so confused and then frustrated is a good sign that this isn't just something Inigo doesn't understand because he's medieval. No, this is just a weird confusing universal constant.
And he's sure Roland will get to the bottom of this with this call, but Inigo just.. he can't help it. He's so morbidly curious now. He knows he shouldn't scroll and make more videos be displayed, but he wants to see what else this confusing, weird app is hiding from him!
So he does scroll while Roland waits for someone to pick up and help, and the first thing that pops up is this.
Which just.. makes Inigo stare.
He doesn't even scroll further, it just loops a few times. And unfortunately that means the algoritm has got him figured out by now. By the time Inigo does scroll on from it, the whole scroll only feeds him more and more clips of handsome shirtless guys posing for the camera, and Inigo can feel himself starting to sweat more and more.
Oh no. Why now. Why while he's right next to Roland, this is the WORST POSSIBLE CIRCUMSTANCE TO WATCH THESE VERY HOT CLIPS UNDER, HE FEELS LIKE HE'S DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL-- Inigo starts scrolling faster and faster to try and prevent Roland from seeing those videos, hoping something else will come up, but nope. It's just hot guys all the way down.
"D-Don't look!"
Yeah, Inigo, clearly he's not going to look while you're acting so suspicious. Sure helping your own case here.
It's to no one's advantage that Sadie has decided to do the Intern thing and take Roland's advice to clock out for the night, which means her phone rings and drops the call immediately after. He's not about to give up though, especially when its her and her team that introduced such a strange app to him. Once upon a time, he was aware of another similar app, though the name escapes him now...Something to do with plants? But had the same concept of chunks of video with overlayed music and text. When you see one, you've seen them all!
"I'm not going to leave you a voicemail, kid. Come on, pick up..." God forbid she answers his message in public; it wouldn't be a good image to have the president of the country waiting on your voice messages. But as he rings his phone again, raising it to his ear in a second attempt, Roland's eyes drift back to Inigo's phone, spurred by his son's sudden spike of nerves and a clearly red face. It worries Roland of course, the reaction immediate as he puts his phone down, his thumb on the speaker button. Did he upset him? Was this too much modern for his teen?!
"Inigo, what's - "
The TikRok that plays on blast is...an interesting one. Enough to pull him to the orbit of such a strange, almost erotic display. 'Wait a minute?! Erotic?!' Roland's eyes are transfixed until the entire video plays out, but he isn't able to react appropriately until Sadie, god bless her soul, answers the call and her voice is clear as day as it blasts out through the speaker. 'Mr. President, is there something wrong?'
Roland awakens to it, almost as flustered as Inigo now that more of this challenge TikRok starts playing on the instant that he scrolls down. More men slamming their palms and hands against the wall, trapping other men against them and - !
He almost fumbles with his phone as he responds rather heatedly, voice pitched high and in a state of near panic:
"H-Hey, what kind of app is this?! Is this one of those dirty programs?!"
These videos.. are.. something, alright. Of course Inigo has absolutely zero idea of what's going on, but does that really matter? Even if he doesn't understand context whatsoever here, all he can do is stare all the same, because the concept of this is just so.. so hot. Oh Naga, what he wouldn't give to be pressed to the wall like that by one of these handsome, muscled guys. Naga, he's seen what you've done for others, can you now do this for him...
Except the problem is still that Inigo is hyper-aware of Roland's presence. Especially when the other speaks up like that, panicked and loud enough to almost make Inigo's ears ring at impact. And there's absolutely nothing worse than fantasizing about being pressed to a wall by a hot guy right in front of your father, biological or adoptive or otherwise.
It's especially the use of the word 'dirty' that has Inigo choking on his own spot, breaking out into a coughing fit. The phone slides off his lap, lying abandoned on the couch between his and Roland's legs as more and more of the videos keep playing. Not that Inigo can even see them, he's definitely doubled over into his coughing fit, his face still bright red.
Between the laughter howling from the other end of the phone line, to Inigo suddenly hacking up a lung all of a sudden, he's not quite sure what to address first. So in typical Roland fashion, he goes for Inigo first, patting his back with a firm hand to try and placate his coughs, though it may only have just made it worse since half his mind returns to the other phone between them. Good Lord, people were bored on the internet if all they had to do to get a following was to take their shirts off and dance to some overlaid, generic pop music...Maybe he'll just never understand it?
He's forgetting the point of this whole exercise though, and it's for Inigo to discover the new home he's made for himself. Roland doesn't even want to think about what it might mean if Inigo is too overwhelmed with all this and won't want anything to do with this new and improved Earth anymore! He takes a deep, calming breath before he multitasks, finally speaking into the phone where his group of interns finish cackling at the President. The absolute nerve of the youth.
Thankfully, it's still on speaker, for Inigo's delicious benefit.
'Sir, TikRok is just a video hosting app! It's not dirty or anything, but you can't control what people post on it, y'know?' She sounds like she's trying to hold herself back from laughing again. Before Roland can even interject though, Sadie the Intern very obviously directs her voice to Inigo, who she knows is on the other end with Roland by sheer context.
'Heeeeey, 'Nigo! I'm glad you got to see those, you have fun okay? You know you can message your favorite content creators any time on your phone, if you wanna...talk to them and stuff! Heehee! I'll teach you how, get my number from your dad!'
Whatever Inigo's reaction is to this blatant disregard for his father literally sitting right next to him as they attempt to set him up with hot strangers, Roland puts the phone up to his ear after removing it from speaker in a slight reprimand. Something about how he needs further instruction on how to use this part of the internet, for Inigo's well-being and safety being the son of the head of state, and that if any man was to attempt to even court him, it would have to go through Roland first and foremost.
"...Is that understood? And to begin with, I have connections to sons of diplomats! Inigo could have a much better chance with the son of the Espanyan ambassador than these...these...ridiculous looking internet stars!"
The phone call does eventually end, but Roland is still going to try to catch his breath. And his nerves. What just happened?!
This afternoon sure turned a lot wilder than Inigo could ever have expected from Roland coming back home early. Though maybe not in a bad way necessarily - especially since the coughing fit doesn't kill Inigo, thankfully. His face is still very red, sure, but he's finally sucking in some oxygen again now, the coughing stopping enough for him to be able to actually hear Sadie's voice over the phone.
.. though Inigo has no idea what to say back to that. His mind is still processing the fact that he could actually.. talk to these people. These hot guys. He could talk to them. And they may talk back to him. To him!
Thankfully - or maybe not? - Roland takes back control over the phone before Inigo can even say a thing, and then just has to add even more hot guys into the game here. The son of an ambassador? That sounds so fancy! What would they be like? Exotic? Handsome? Ugh, when he decided to come over to Roland's world, he didn't quite expect it to be filled with handsome guys! Not that his father isn't handsome for a guy his age too, but--!! Maybe Roland was just an outlier and shouldn't be counted!
It's Inigo who finally breaks the silence after the phone call is over.
"F-Father, I.. I don't think you have to worry about any guy courting me.." Why would they want to! He's just some weird otherworldly guy! Please, he doesn't even know how a blender works. Inigo is pretty sure blender-challenged guys aren't attractive to handsome guys!
He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the redness on his cheeks when he properly faces Roland again.
".. though I don't think these men are ridiculous looking, if anything they are quite handsome..." Yes, that's Inigo's voice slowly descending into a whisper, not wanting to lie, yet not wanting to offend his father's - apparent - delicate sensibilities either.
Before he even has chance to correct him - of course they would want to court you!, and if they had Words to say, then they would face the full wrath of the President of the United States! - Inigo already mutters something he didn't expect. Sat this close together on the couch, it's impossible not to hear him trail off, even if he mumbles his voice so that the words obscure under his breath. Roland looks at Inigo with wonder, eyes slightly wide. The phone in his hand is given a tertiary glance, before he blinks.
Roland might be back to his normal age and self, but he's by no means a complete and total prude! In fact, he would be the first to encourage Inigo to widen his social circle as soon as he's comfortable with the modern world. And if that meant going on a date or two with a guy he meets along the way...so be it! That's how you learn what you like and what you don't in life partners!
Inigo's into commitment, right?
Gah. Roland is thinking too far ahead in this parenting thing. (Was Will going to grow up this way too?! Did he want a girlfriend or - ?!) He shakes his head, then holds the phone up to Inigo so he can see its screen. The TikRok home page is there, but thankfully, has stopped playing videos for them to screech at. Or drool over, depending on who's watching and asking.
Roland points to it.
"You mean you like guys that come up in videos like this?" Just confirming. Just making sure. He wants to get to know Inigo in this new space! This new territory! Can't make mistakes! He asks again. "This is your type?" The dancing, macho, super muscled guys who seem to always know their angles even in selfie mode?
Huh. Maybe the son of the ambassador of Espanyan was the wrong pool to fish from. He can take Inigo with him to state dinners instead, the West Coast probably had his kind of guy...This is what Roland is thinking about now, okay. Don't stop him!
If Inigo's face wasn't already beet red a moment ago, then it surely is now. Who would have thought he'd ever end up in this situation, huh? A few years ago he was still fighting every single day, hardly having the time to eat or sleep, and now he's here sitting on the couch with his father asking him if he's into hot, shirtless guys.
It sure is a wild, wild, difference, but somehow this feels much more terrifying than facing down any single Risen.
"W-what?"
The word is squeaked out. What does he even say to that?! Is this something people usually talk about with their parents?! Sure, Inigo was never close to his biological father, but he was close with his mother and she never asked him about any guys or girls he liked! Was it since he was still young? Is Roland maybe the one being weird here?! Inigo has no idea!
All he knows is that he's stammering, cheeks red, gaze nervously darting around. What does he say!!
"I.. uh, well.. I-I don't know if I'd say it's my type.." He's trying to be honest, really, though said honesty is coming out in bits and pieces with how flustered he is right now. "I-I like all sorts of men, father! With these I just.. um, I like their.. their confidence..!"
And their hot six packs BUT HE IS SO NOT SAYING THAT. Nope. Nuh-uh. Can't make him.
H-How would Roland give him the talk?! Inigo probably had more experience in this field than he does! Is the talk the same if your kid liked guys?! No, he has to focus! Don't panic, Roland! Let that stoic face save you once more!
"Hm. Confidence. That's...Hm."
He isn't aware that his nonchalance about this awkward topic is making Inigo blush to the point of tears. Roland just takes the new phone, christened with the amount of shirtless single men that TikRok has zeroed in on, and hums again. Taps his fingers against the side of the phone case and rests his free hand under his chin.
"That makes sense. You have to be confident to post things like this for everyone to see." He nods, determined. Looks at Inigo, as if renewed in energy. "Okay. I've got it. Don't worry, pup. I won't let you down."
Does that sound ominous? Exciting? Inigo, is your Earth Dad just about ready to get you in the dating scene, modern world style?! Stay tuned! Because right now, it seems like a done deal, with Roland patting him on the shoulder twice and walking off, stood and headed back to the kitchen.
"Let's get pizza. Or wait, pasta? What do you want for dinner?"
That statement is definitely omnious. Especially since Inigo has no idea what it means. Is Roland going to find him some shirtless guy to date or something?! But what if his personality sucks! Also, is it normal for your father to do that kind of thing for you? Is this some modern world custom that Inigo just has never learned about, or is it just a Roland thing? Is disaster about to strike?!
Inigo can only wish he knew. Will, why are you at summer camp, please come back and save your big brother....
Inigo shoots up, already moving after Roland, practically sticking to the older man's side. Partially because he's still internally - and partially externally, if that blush is to be believed - freaking out about all of this, but it's also just natural clinginess, not wanting to miss even a minute of Roland time now he's finally gotten some.
"U-Uh, the last time I had pizza it was pretty good.."
The hyping up of pizza people did back on the train certainly wasn't a lie, Inigo has found out that much.
But clearly he's not just following the other man to talk about food, okay. He has to just.. gently.. try and find out..
".. Father, is it alright for me to ask you something? I, um.. Is it.." Ugh. HOW IS HE SUBTLE ABOUT THIS. His gaze is darting around so nervously at this point. "Do you think there is a difference.. between courting someone in this world and in Ylisse..?"
Still not subtle enough, Inigo feels, but at least it's not a direct 'DAD ARE YOU TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH A RANDOM SHIRTLESS DUDE I'VE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE', okay.
Good luck trying to communicate that without actually saying it, son!!!
He nods at the pizza suggestion and in true Roland-who-can't-cook fashion, opens the freezer and takes out two boxes, frozen and rock solid. He's not a five-star chef, but he'll never be caught unprepared without ready-to-cook meals, okay! They're set down by the counter before he bends to check on the oven, preheating as instructed. Roland talks over his shoulder when Inigo follows and asks him questions.
"Courtship between here and Ylisse...?" Roland parrots in slight confusion, standing upright now that the oven is set and all that's left is to wait a few minutes till the pizzas come out of their box to be cooked. He starts taking said items out of the cardboard, and places them on a sheet tray. (It's nice to know he's back to being familiar with his own house.)
"I...don't really know how to answer that, pup. I don't know what courtship in Ylisse was like to compare." And while this isn't necessarily a red flag question, he does find it in himself to ask - of which he does while the tray of pizzas is in one hand, his other resting against his hip. Coolest image ever.
"Why...?" Roland quirks one eyebrow up. SUS. VERY SUS. And may be the chance opening Inigo needs!
You can't call sus on him when you're standing there holding frozen pizzas, Roland! You're no president right now, you're just a non-cooking dad at home!
And maybe this is the most ridiculous way ever to have this conversation. The two of them standing in the kitchen, the oven starting to heat up in the background, the frozen pizzas. A topic that's way too serious for a setting like this.
And yet somehow the topic is ridiculous enough at the same time that maybe, just maybe, this is the only proper way to have this conversation.
(Although Inigo is still going to try and skirt his way around it, try to be subtle somehow, just watch him--!!)
"Well.. If Will wanted a girlfriend, what would you do?"
And by 'subtle' I of course mean that Inigo flips the question around in the worst way possible to try and hide his own true question.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH FROZEN PIZZA AND TV DINNERS, SON
The oven's yet to reach its intended temperature, so he has time to focus on such weird questions. Seriously, is Inigo trying to tell him something here? Was this a modern dad test he's about to fail? Roland doesn't mean to pause and linger, but he has to be careful -
- though darting around the issue of whether or not Roland was about to hook his son up with some foreign ambassador's hot boy might not have received Inigo's expected result. Immediately upon hearing that question, Roland's expression falls dry, suddenly straight-faced. This could make for a funny picture, in retrospect.
"...Did he meet someone in summer camp already?"
Gosh, how young did people start dating these days!! He doesn't know how to feel about this!! Where's his kid raising manual!!
At least Inigo is quick to shut that one down, rather than run with it and use it as an excuse for his line of inquiry. It'd sure make things easier, but there is one thing Inigo would never do, and it's never ever throw his new precious baby brother under the bus for anything. Will is so sweet, he doesn't deserve that. He should only have good things, always.
Please know your big brother is out here protecting you, even if it crushes his own dignity, Will... He doesn't want dad to think you suddenly have some major interest in girls when you come home!
"O-Of course not, it's.. a hypothetical!" Granted, with how weird and shifty Inigo seems to be acting about it right now, it's easy to believe he is trying to cover something up for Will.
Except all he's trying to cover up here is his own nervousness about this topic and not wanting to be too direct about the specific question he wants to ask Roland.
"A what if! Come on, father, don't dodge the question!" WE WON'T HAVE THIS FROZEN PIZZA UNTIL YOU ANSWER. DON'T MAKE HIM TURN THIS KITCHEN AROUND.
WOW, JUST AS HE'S ABOUT TO PUT THESE PIZZAS IN THE OVEN!! There's a distinct pause he takes where one foot is ready to pivot back to the hot oven, but he's staring at Inigo like he's trying to suddenly process these questions.
"Hypothetical...?" He quirks an eyebrow up, and taps a finger against the side of the tray he's holding up. Was there something he missed...? There's seriously something he's not understanding here, but there's no figuring it out this way. He might as well just indulge the question.
"All right." He says, though he sounds a bit unsure of his words. "I mean, he's not dating in this household until he turns forty but..." That's a joke. Or is it. Roland shakes his head, a misplaced jab at the wrong time, but he's trying to avoid his own fluster, never having a moment to even think about his sons bringing home partners. Introducing him to lovers!!! It's making Roland blush as he scrambles for something logical.
Instead, what comes out is -
"Err. If he wanted to date, I'd...I'd ask him why? Does...he like her? Enough to date her? And what about her does he...enjoy spending time with - gah. Okay. Wait. Redo."
Until he's forty?! Please, Roland, Inigo isn't even sure if he himself is going to turn forty in the first place! That's a pretty tall life expectancy for someone from his world and time, okay, and Inigo isn't too sure if living in this world is going to make it miraculously go up for him? Do you expect him to be a spinster for the rest of his life?
But before he even has the chance to whine about that in the slightest, there's that other weird near non-answer from Roland taking up all of his attention.
"Wait, redo?!"
Come on, dad! You can't give him a weird answer and then say you're going to give a different one! (It's hard to tell if Inigo even catches onto just how flustered Roland is right now - probably not.)
"Father, you need to have some sort of idea about this! Especially since you implied you were going to try and set someone up with me only a few moments ago!" Ah, there the true matter behind all of this rears its head.
"I-I do have an idea! I just need to - wait a minute, hold on now!"
Delicious chaos is for dinner, not pizza.
He finally sees a chance to put the pies in the oven, but before he can truly escape Inigo's wrath, the gentle close of the oven door coincides with the thought connecting at last. This wasn't about Will getting a girlfriend at all! He should have known! But then again, Roland's always been slow on the uptake when it came to decoding the Teen formula - he has no clue that his secret plan to help Inigo grow his social circle (and maybe get a boyfriend along the way, sue a dad!) was something Inigo already sniffed out from the start.
As soon as the pizzas go in, Roland turns around, still flushed, now both hands on his hips.
"All right, I wasn't the most subtle about that, but listen! I have a very nice guy in mind. A-And you both could just be nice friends! If needed, I can always chaperone - err, wait. You're too old for that..."
Flustered is one word for it. He's got a finger to his chin as he walks closer to Inigo, but he's more pacing than he is trying to get by. The logical part of him knows Inigo is absolutely correct: he needs to know how to handle this especially since neither of his boys are going to grow any younger, and will be exploring more and more of the world around them. But the Roland of now is a bit overheated, between accidentally showing his new son potential pornography on his phone, to now proving incompetent with regards to his children's dating lives.
"What...what was your question again?" PERFECT. Smooth! A great way to get back on track! Or for Roland to, because he can't believe Inigo found him out so easily! Where is his iconic poker face now!!
Wow, Roland. Do you think that's enough to fool Inigo? To pull the wool over his eyes?
Okay, it might have been in some situations, let's be real. But Inigo is so hyper-focused on this topic right now that it's a lot harder to distract him from it, especially with what Roland just said!
"That's the strange part, father!" Inigo whines. Or at least, he thinks it's the strange part? That's the whole problem here in the first place, after all - having no idea if this is just normal in this world, or if it's a case of Roland being Roland. It's not exactly like Inigo has spoken to any other fathers in this new world he's found himself in, after all, and his own experience with fathers aside from Roland is pretty much non-existent.
"Is that how it usually happens? Do fathers pick matches for their children here?" You'd think it would be less odd to Inigo, with him being a prince and all, but matches being made for royalty is one of the royalty cliches that doesn't apply back in Ylisse. "W-What if I don't like the guy? Or, um.. I mean, what if I don't like him romantically! It will be awkward! I don't want to break his heart!"
(Though, honestly, he thinks it's more likely that the guy might not like him rather than the other way around, but he's not speaking that fear out loud right now.)
This would be the part where Roland sets the timer for fifteen minutes, but obviously there are more important things to handle than pizza's in the oven okay!
He leans a hand back against the edge of the counter, with his other arm resting on his hip. If anyone else had been witness to his stony expression, they might think he was actually angry. But no, Roland is suddenly thrust into a situation where he is clinging to every word Inigo is saying, to every explanation that falls from his lips; and he's certain Inigo knows that too. Dad is concentrating! Because there's something about his good intentions that set Inigo off and he has to understand it wholly!
Until he finally does and it clicks. With wide eyes, he suddenly drops his focus and turns extremely apologetic. He shakes his head in protest.
"N-No, you've got it all wrong! Gah, I'm sorry, I - " Roland looks around for a minute, runs his fingers through his hair. Shorter now, easier to maintain. Less strands to fixate at though, especially when he's racing to say the right thing. "In this country, nobody can really pick a match for you. But you can introduce someone to another person if you think they might get along."
Did that make sense? Oh he is praying to the skies above that he is making sense. Inigo was already adjusting to so much. Roland shouldn't be overcomplicating this.
"In fact, you could just end up as good friends! This is, uh. This is mostly what dating is in this world, Inigo, but I really only wanted to introduce you to the ambassador's son to help grow your circle! Y-You didn't have to date, I promise!"
He has now reverted to explaining with his hand gestures, inching closer and closer to Inigo in the hopes that he's not messing up his perception of modern-day dating. The thought does occur to him that it might be too soon for his pup to even think about these things, so fresh and new on earth still, learning and adapting to even the smallest details...
Meanwhile, the pizza is cooking nicely behind them, crust browning gently.
Inigo sure isn't paying much attention to them, for one. Sure, he was pretty okay with the idea of having dinner, but he's very much distracted by something else right now. Those pizzas are only one dinner, after all, but meeting someone and dating them could be for the rest of his life! It's a big, life-changing sort of thing!
Even as Roland reassures him it's not about dating necessarily.
But it still kind of feels like it is to Inigo. Or maybe it's just that he really wants to make his dad proud, and he's trying to figure out what Roland is thinking here. Would Roland want him to date someone? It'd probably look good for the son of the president to be dating someone else within diplomatic circles, huh..
He's quiet for a moment, thoughtful, but when he speaks up he sounds a lot less flustered.
And more.. vulnerable, maybe? It's harder to tell from his tone, but it's very much visible in Inigo's eyes - the familiar insecurity.
"Do you.. Do you think he'd like to know me?" Even in a non-dating sort of way, but it's not as if Inigo could meet this boy now without constantly thinking of dating thanks to this whole conversation-- "He wouldn't think I'm odd? You know, since I'm.. I'm still trying to get used to all of this."
The modern world, that is, not the very specific niche of modern world dating.
T-minus ten minutes and they're goners. Will they be able to eat tonight? Will Inigo get together with a cutie from TikRok? Stay tuned on the next episode -
But Roland needed to see that shift, subtle as it might be to anyone else as a witness. He knows though; can tell with that hesitation in his voice whereas he was more spirited just moments before. And as Inigo shows him this vulnerability freely, so too does Roland take it willingly and changes with him, his own expression morphing into one of total reassurance. Ready to take on his worries as his own, something that comes naturally to Roland despite the front he presents to his peers, his constituents. He moves smoothly to cross the distance in two long steps, his hands already on Inigo's shoulders, his chin tilted in a way that he's looking for that gaze to meet. Roland's smile matches the mood, lifting it such that his intentions are made clear from hereon out. He never meant to make Inigo think about these things too soon. It's good that he reminded Roland there's a long way to go before he can even start to look for a partner.
"Hey," He says, both hands in a firm grip to ease whatever rising tension might build from Inigo's natural worries. "Everyone you've met in the office wanted to get to know you the moment I brought you up there. You're a natural with people, like I said a million times over. That's no less true here in my world."
Despite the changes to Roland's physical appearance, with no more magic to hide who he really is, the act of tenderness is remembered like perfect muscle memory, the closest of his hands to Inigo's cheek rising to pinch carefully, without any pain.
"Of course he'd want to get to know you. Anybody would. And if they passed up on the chance? They'd be missing out, big time." Nevermind the modern world learning curve. Though Roland supposes that's not something he can objectively tell Inigo not to worry about, so he chuckles and retracts his touch for a moment, just to rest his hands on his hips, addressing the whole thing with a bit more level-headedness than when Inigo suddenly sprung on him the idea of William seeing someone.
Both of his sons seeing people! He'll need more time for that!
"I'm sorry, pup. I guess I just got excited. I didn't mean to scare you. Or make you worry. You're right. There's a whole new world out here for you to explore and get used to first. There'll be plenty of time for casual dating later."
And just to add a touch of playfulness to something he might have messed up by jumping the gun, he does the unthinkable and actually winks - but the motion is so small that it could have been mistaken as an easy trick of the light; a bug flying into his eye that he tries to blink away. Was it a wink?! Who knows!
The whole reassuring package does work. The words, the expression on Roland's face, the cadence of his voice. Sure, some of these things might have changed slightly between their time back on the train and now, with Roland being older. But nothing has changed enough for it to have much of an impact on the way Inigo experiences it. Even the touch is treated the same way as ever - just letting Roland do what he wants, with perhaps only a hint of pink cheeks.
If anything, Roland's ever-present attitude suits this look more than the one he had back on the train, when he and Inigo easily could have been mistaken for brothers instead with the way they acted so affectionately around each other.
"Thanks, father. Though forty may be a tad late.."
Inigo doesn't sound very upset, so that means he most likely realises it's just playfulness on the older man's part. Or he would have been freaking out more at this point.
Besides, the next remark Inigo makes has a hint of a similar - though perhaps more subdued - playfulness in it on his part.
"I mean, wouldn't you want to have some cute grandchild around?" Look, Inigo may like guys, but it's not like that completely erases that option, okay! If he gets used to this world, and actually manages to find a partner who's into him, Inigo thinks he'd very much like that. Having a child to call his own. "You'd probably act so adorable around them."
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It's those two simple words that get Inigo's head to stop spinning with thoughts for a moment, gaze instead turning to curiosity as he glances over at Roland. At first he assumes Roland is making a work call - especially since Inigo doesn't even have any idea of how many the other is ignoring right now, he just thinks this happens to be the first one that had to be done this afternoon! - but his eyebrows raise further as he starts hearing just what Roland is talking about on the phone.
And in true kid fashion - despite the fact that Inigo is already late in his teens - he can't help but lean over and try to listen in. One hand resting on Roland's thigh to support him as he leans over, practically cheek to cheek with the older guy as he tries to hear what's going on on the other side of the line without even bothering to hide what he's doing.
Inigo can't really hear it, mostly just hears Roland speak, but he isn't giving up just yet! He lingers there all the way until the call ends, although he's at least good enough to stay quiet.
(Even though he almost asked Roland to say hi from him. Look, Inigo had to be careful at first when he showed up here without any real identity in this world - but now one has been forged for him, he sure wants to catch up on the socializing he's missed. Or rather, he just wants to get to know the people important to Roland, the ones he spends time with when he's away from their little family. But-- look! He's being good and not interrupting things!)
He does move back to sit on the couch properly again though when there's no more listening in to do. And scrolls down all the way until he sees the name of the app under the icon.
"This one?"
He's even already pressing it, since it looks right! Little does Inigo know what kind of Pandora's Box he's opening here...
"W--Woah, Roland! Something's playing already!" INSTA-PLAY IS TOO MUCH FOR THIS MEDIEVAL BOY, SLOW DOWN.
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But that bravado, that confidence, it all melts away the moment Inigo finds the TikRok app - it was spelled in one word apparently, such are the gimmicks of the modern world - and the phone speakers blast with a video that does indeed, insta-play.
"What in the - !?"
Guess who is also caught totally off-guard. First of all, Inigo did not press a single thing, so why was a video playing? Second of all, why in the world was this new smartphone so loud? Where's the volume control on this thing? The side buttons, right...?! And lastly as Roland and Inigo watch the short clip that plays for around ten to twelve seconds, he looks completely dumbfounded, resting a hand on his knee and leaning forward till it finishes rolling out. INIGO, PLEASE DON'T SCROLL DOWN LEST THEY GET ANOTHER INSTA-PLAY VIDEO --
"Why would you do that to your poor pet dog and post it on this thing...?"
Wow this is going to be the blind leading the blind, Roland that's a Time Warp Filter, but no one is going to tell him that today. He refuses to give his interns power by admitting he actually really did need their help!
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Because that's exactly what Inigo is doing. Can you blame him? It's practically instinct! He's trying to get this sudden moving video of this odd, odd dog face away from him, so he's scrolling down in an attempt to make it disappear!
But of course that doesn't work. Instead of giving them blissful silence, it just goes right over to the next video, which happens to be this one.
.. which just makes Inigo's jaw drop as he stares at it. Unsure of what he's watching.
"Father.. What is that man doing?"
Please explain this modern custom to him?
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Why was this man making such weird arm gestures? Why is he making sounds? Who is he trying to be? Who is he trying to make fun of? Why was this worth turning on a camera for and posting on the internet???? Roland is not going to panic. This was an app. Made by humans. The humans of the modern earth. This was not going to defeat him. Goodness, he just wanted Inigo to have an app to use to post his dancing that didn't have to last a whole song!
Roland's frown is deep as he tries to scroll down further, attempting to at least lower the volume. Why do they keep playing without him having to press the play button? How much has he actually missed and what part of this is basic technological incompetence?? The answer lies in the next video that plays --
-- and he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it!! He makes a sound of frustration as his hands reach for his phone by his lap again, though his eyes are focused on what they're watching.
"Sadie, if you're pranking me..." He's already dialing her number. "Don't worry, pup. We'll get to the bottom of this." This is a NATIONAL EMERGENCY. Intern Units, please pick up, you punk teenagers showing him and his new medieval son an app that parades around as an agent of chaos! In the meantime, Inigo should get the hint to stop scrolling around, right? Roland leaves one hand on his wrist to try and signal him to pause, but since when could this guy control teens anyway?
It's all up to Inigo and the TikRok now.
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And he's sure Roland will get to the bottom of this with this call, but Inigo just.. he can't help it. He's so morbidly curious now. He knows he shouldn't scroll and make more videos be displayed, but he wants to see what else this confusing, weird app is hiding from him!
So he does scroll while Roland waits for someone to pick up and help, and the first thing that pops up is this.
Which just.. makes Inigo stare.
He doesn't even scroll further, it just loops a few times. And unfortunately that means the algoritm has got him figured out by now. By the time Inigo does scroll on from it, the whole scroll only feeds him more and more clips of handsome shirtless guys posing for the camera, and Inigo can feel himself starting to sweat more and more.
Oh no. Why now. Why while he's right next to Roland, this is the WORST POSSIBLE CIRCUMSTANCE TO WATCH THESE VERY HOT CLIPS UNDER, HE FEELS LIKE HE'S DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL-- Inigo starts scrolling faster and faster to try and prevent Roland from seeing those videos, hoping something else will come up, but nope. It's just hot guys all the way down.
"D-Don't look!"
Yeah, Inigo, clearly he's not going to look while you're acting so suspicious. Sure helping your own case here.
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"I'm not going to leave you a voicemail, kid. Come on, pick up..." God forbid she answers his message in public; it wouldn't be a good image to have the president of the country waiting on your voice messages. But as he rings his phone again, raising it to his ear in a second attempt, Roland's eyes drift back to Inigo's phone, spurred by his son's sudden spike of nerves and a clearly red face. It worries Roland of course, the reaction immediate as he puts his phone down, his thumb on the speaker button. Did he upset him? Was this too much modern for his teen?!
"Inigo, what's - "
The TikRok that plays on blast is...an interesting one. Enough to pull him to the orbit of such a strange, almost erotic display. 'Wait a minute?! Erotic?!' Roland's eyes are transfixed until the entire video plays out, but he isn't able to react appropriately until Sadie, god bless her soul, answers the call and her voice is clear as day as it blasts out through the speaker. 'Mr. President, is there something wrong?'
Roland awakens to it, almost as flustered as Inigo now that more of this challenge TikRok starts playing on the instant that he scrolls down. More men slamming their palms and hands against the wall, trapping other men against them and - !
He almost fumbles with his phone as he responds rather heatedly, voice pitched high and in a state of near panic:
"H-Hey, what kind of app is this?! Is this one of those dirty programs?!"
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These videos.. are.. something, alright. Of course Inigo has absolutely zero idea of what's going on, but does that really matter? Even if he doesn't understand context whatsoever here, all he can do is stare all the same, because the concept of this is just so.. so hot. Oh Naga, what he wouldn't give to be pressed to the wall like that by one of these handsome, muscled guys. Naga, he's seen what you've done for others, can you now do this for him...
Except the problem is still that Inigo is hyper-aware of Roland's presence. Especially when the other speaks up like that, panicked and loud enough to almost make Inigo's ears ring at impact. And there's absolutely nothing worse than fantasizing about being pressed to a wall by a hot guy right in front of your father, biological or adoptive or otherwise.
It's especially the use of the word 'dirty' that has Inigo choking on his own spot, breaking out into a coughing fit. The phone slides off his lap, lying abandoned on the couch between his and Roland's legs as more and more of the videos keep playing. Not that Inigo can even see them, he's definitely doubled over into his coughing fit, his face still bright red.
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Between the laughter howling from the other end of the phone line, to Inigo suddenly hacking up a lung all of a sudden, he's not quite sure what to address first. So in typical Roland fashion, he goes for Inigo first, patting his back with a firm hand to try and placate his coughs, though it may only have just made it worse since half his mind returns to the other phone between them. Good Lord, people were bored on the internet if all they had to do to get a following was to take their shirts off and dance to some overlaid, generic pop music...Maybe he'll just never understand it?
He's forgetting the point of this whole exercise though, and it's for Inigo to discover the new home he's made for himself. Roland doesn't even want to think about what it might mean if Inigo is too overwhelmed with all this and won't want anything to do with this new and improved Earth anymore! He takes a deep, calming breath before he multitasks, finally speaking into the phone where his group of interns finish cackling at the President. The absolute nerve of the youth.
Thankfully, it's still on speaker, for Inigo's delicious benefit.
'Sir, TikRok is just a video hosting app! It's not dirty or anything, but you can't control what people post on it, y'know?' She sounds like she's trying to hold herself back from laughing again. Before Roland can even interject though, Sadie the Intern very obviously directs her voice to Inigo, who she knows is on the other end with Roland by sheer context.
'Heeeeey, 'Nigo! I'm glad you got to see those, you have fun okay? You know you can message your favorite content creators any time on your phone, if you wanna...talk to them and stuff! Heehee! I'll teach you how, get my number from your dad!'
Whatever Inigo's reaction is to this blatant disregard for his father literally sitting right next to him as they attempt to set him up with hot strangers, Roland puts the phone up to his ear after removing it from speaker in a slight reprimand. Something about how he needs further instruction on how to use this part of the internet, for Inigo's well-being and safety being the son of the head of state, and that if any man was to attempt to even court him, it would have to go through Roland first and foremost.
"...Is that understood? And to begin with, I have connections to sons of diplomats! Inigo could have a much better chance with the son of the Espanyan ambassador than these...these...ridiculous looking internet stars!"
The phone call does eventually end, but Roland is still going to try to catch his breath. And his nerves. What just happened?!
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.. though Inigo has no idea what to say back to that. His mind is still processing the fact that he could actually.. talk to these people. These hot guys. He could talk to them. And they may talk back to him. To him!
Thankfully - or maybe not? - Roland takes back control over the phone before Inigo can even say a thing, and then just has to add even more hot guys into the game here. The son of an ambassador? That sounds so fancy! What would they be like? Exotic? Handsome? Ugh, when he decided to come over to Roland's world, he didn't quite expect it to be filled with handsome guys! Not that his father isn't handsome for a guy his age too, but--!! Maybe Roland was just an outlier and shouldn't be counted!
It's Inigo who finally breaks the silence after the phone call is over.
"F-Father, I.. I don't think you have to worry about any guy courting me.." Why would they want to! He's just some weird otherworldly guy! Please, he doesn't even know how a blender works. Inigo is pretty sure blender-challenged guys aren't attractive to handsome guys!
He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the redness on his cheeks when he properly faces Roland again.
".. though I don't think these men are ridiculous looking, if anything they are quite handsome..." Yes, that's Inigo's voice slowly descending into a whisper, not wanting to lie, yet not wanting to offend his father's - apparent - delicate sensibilities either.
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Roland might be back to his normal age and self, but he's by no means a complete and total prude! In fact, he would be the first to encourage Inigo to widen his social circle as soon as he's comfortable with the modern world. And if that meant going on a date or two with a guy he meets along the way...so be it! That's how you learn what you like and what you don't in life partners!
Inigo's into commitment, right?
Gah. Roland is thinking too far ahead in this parenting thing. (Was Will going to grow up this way too?! Did he want a girlfriend or - ?!) He shakes his head, then holds the phone up to Inigo so he can see its screen. The TikRok home page is there, but thankfully, has stopped playing videos for them to screech at. Or drool over, depending on who's watching and asking.
Roland points to it.
"You mean you like guys that come up in videos like this?" Just confirming. Just making sure. He wants to get to know Inigo in this new space! This new territory! Can't make mistakes! He asks again. "This is your type?" The dancing, macho, super muscled guys who seem to always know their angles even in selfie mode?
Huh. Maybe the son of the ambassador of Espanyan was the wrong pool to fish from. He can take Inigo with him to state dinners instead, the West Coast probably had his kind of guy...This is what Roland is thinking about now, okay. Don't stop him!
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It sure is a wild, wild, difference, but somehow this feels much more terrifying than facing down any single Risen.
"W-what?"
The word is squeaked out. What does he even say to that?! Is this something people usually talk about with their parents?! Sure, Inigo was never close to his biological father, but he was close with his mother and she never asked him about any guys or girls he liked! Was it since he was still young? Is Roland maybe the one being weird here?! Inigo has no idea!
All he knows is that he's stammering, cheeks red, gaze nervously darting around. What does he say!!
"I.. uh, well.. I-I don't know if I'd say it's my type.." He's trying to be honest, really, though said honesty is coming out in bits and pieces with how flustered he is right now. "I-I like all sorts of men, father! With these I just.. um, I like their.. their confidence..!"
And their hot six packs BUT HE IS SO NOT SAYING THAT. Nope. Nuh-uh. Can't make him.
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H-How would Roland give him the talk?! Inigo probably had more experience in this field than he does! Is the talk the same if your kid liked guys?! No, he has to focus! Don't panic, Roland! Let that stoic face save you once more!
"Hm. Confidence. That's...Hm."
He isn't aware that his nonchalance about this awkward topic is making Inigo blush to the point of tears. Roland just takes the new phone, christened with the amount of shirtless single men that TikRok has zeroed in on, and hums again. Taps his fingers against the side of the phone case and rests his free hand under his chin.
"That makes sense. You have to be confident to post things like this for everyone to see." He nods, determined. Looks at Inigo, as if renewed in energy. "Okay. I've got it. Don't worry, pup. I won't let you down."
Does that sound ominous? Exciting? Inigo, is your Earth Dad just about ready to get you in the dating scene, modern world style?! Stay tuned! Because right now, it seems like a done deal, with Roland patting him on the shoulder twice and walking off, stood and headed back to the kitchen.
"Let's get pizza. Or wait, pasta? What do you want for dinner?"
HOT MEN???? Gosh, just tell him, son!
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Roland won't let him down over what?
Roland won't let him down over what?!?
That statement is definitely omnious. Especially since Inigo has no idea what it means. Is Roland going to find him some shirtless guy to date or something?! But what if his personality sucks! Also, is it normal for your father to do that kind of thing for you? Is this some modern world custom that Inigo just has never learned about, or is it just a Roland thing? Is disaster about to strike?!
Inigo can only wish he knew. Will, why are you at summer camp, please come back and save your big brother....
Inigo shoots up, already moving after Roland, practically sticking to the older man's side. Partially because he's still internally - and partially externally, if that blush is to be believed - freaking out about all of this, but it's also just natural clinginess, not wanting to miss even a minute of Roland time now he's finally gotten some.
"U-Uh, the last time I had pizza it was pretty good.."
The hyping up of pizza people did back on the train certainly wasn't a lie, Inigo has found out that much.
But clearly he's not just following the other man to talk about food, okay. He has to just.. gently.. try and find out..
".. Father, is it alright for me to ask you something? I, um.. Is it.." Ugh. HOW IS HE SUBTLE ABOUT THIS. His gaze is darting around so nervously at this point. "Do you think there is a difference.. between courting someone in this world and in Ylisse..?"
Still not subtle enough, Inigo feels, but at least it's not a direct 'DAD ARE YOU TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH A RANDOM SHIRTLESS DUDE I'VE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE', okay.
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He nods at the pizza suggestion and in true Roland-who-can't-cook fashion, opens the freezer and takes out two boxes, frozen and rock solid. He's not a five-star chef, but he'll never be caught unprepared without ready-to-cook meals, okay! They're set down by the counter before he bends to check on the oven, preheating as instructed. Roland talks over his shoulder when Inigo follows and asks him questions.
"Courtship between here and Ylisse...?" Roland parrots in slight confusion, standing upright now that the oven is set and all that's left is to wait a few minutes till the pizzas come out of their box to be cooked. He starts taking said items out of the cardboard, and places them on a sheet tray. (It's nice to know he's back to being familiar with his own house.)
"I...don't really know how to answer that, pup. I don't know what courtship in Ylisse was like to compare." And while this isn't necessarily a red flag question, he does find it in himself to ask - of which he does while the tray of pizzas is in one hand, his other resting against his hip. Coolest image ever.
"Why...?" Roland quirks one eyebrow up. SUS. VERY SUS. And may be the chance opening Inigo needs!
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And maybe this is the most ridiculous way ever to have this conversation. The two of them standing in the kitchen, the oven starting to heat up in the background, the frozen pizzas. A topic that's way too serious for a setting like this.
And yet somehow the topic is ridiculous enough at the same time that maybe, just maybe, this is the only proper way to have this conversation.
(Although Inigo is still going to try and skirt his way around it, try to be subtle somehow, just watch him--!!)
"Well.. If Will wanted a girlfriend, what would you do?"
And by 'subtle' I of course mean that Inigo flips the question around in the worst way possible to try and hide his own true question.
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The oven's yet to reach its intended temperature, so he has time to focus on such weird questions. Seriously, is Inigo trying to tell him something here? Was this a modern dad test he's about to fail? Roland doesn't mean to pause and linger, but he has to be careful -
- though darting around the issue of whether or not Roland was about to hook his son up with some foreign ambassador's hot boy might not have received Inigo's expected result. Immediately upon hearing that question, Roland's expression falls dry, suddenly straight-faced. This could make for a funny picture, in retrospect.
"...Did he meet someone in summer camp already?"
Gosh, how young did people start dating these days!! He doesn't know how to feel about this!! Where's his kid raising manual!!
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At least Inigo is quick to shut that one down, rather than run with it and use it as an excuse for his line of inquiry. It'd sure make things easier, but there is one thing Inigo would never do, and it's never ever throw his new precious baby brother under the bus for anything. Will is so sweet, he doesn't deserve that. He should only have good things, always.
Please know your big brother is out here protecting you, even if it crushes his own dignity, Will... He doesn't want dad to think you suddenly have some major interest in girls when you come home!
"O-Of course not, it's.. a hypothetical!" Granted, with how weird and shifty Inigo seems to be acting about it right now, it's easy to believe he is trying to cover something up for Will.
Except all he's trying to cover up here is his own nervousness about this topic and not wanting to be too direct about the specific question he wants to ask Roland.
"A what if! Come on, father, don't dodge the question!" WE WON'T HAVE THIS FROZEN PIZZA UNTIL YOU ANSWER. DON'T MAKE HIM TURN THIS KITCHEN AROUND.
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"Hypothetical...?" He quirks an eyebrow up, and taps a finger against the side of the tray he's holding up. Was there something he missed...? There's seriously something he's not understanding here, but there's no figuring it out this way. He might as well just indulge the question.
"All right." He says, though he sounds a bit unsure of his words. "I mean, he's not dating in this household until he turns forty but..." That's a joke. Or is it. Roland shakes his head, a misplaced jab at the wrong time, but he's trying to avoid his own fluster, never having a moment to even think about his sons bringing home partners. Introducing him to lovers!!! It's making Roland blush as he scrambles for something logical.
Instead, what comes out is -
"Err. If he wanted to date, I'd...I'd ask him why? Does...he like her? Enough to date her? And what about her does he...enjoy spending time with - gah. Okay. Wait. Redo."
He's thinking. HE'S THINKING!!!
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But before he even has the chance to whine about that in the slightest, there's that other weird near non-answer from Roland taking up all of his attention.
"Wait, redo?!"
Come on, dad! You can't give him a weird answer and then say you're going to give a different one! (It's hard to tell if Inigo even catches onto just how flustered Roland is right now - probably not.)
"Father, you need to have some sort of idea about this! Especially since you implied you were going to try and set someone up with me only a few moments ago!" Ah, there the true matter behind all of this rears its head.
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Delicious chaos is for dinner, not pizza.
He finally sees a chance to put the pies in the oven, but before he can truly escape Inigo's wrath, the gentle close of the oven door coincides with the thought connecting at last. This wasn't about Will getting a girlfriend at all! He should have known! But then again, Roland's always been slow on the uptake when it came to decoding the Teen formula - he has no clue that his secret plan to help Inigo grow his social circle (and maybe get a boyfriend along the way, sue a dad!) was something Inigo already sniffed out from the start.
As soon as the pizzas go in, Roland turns around, still flushed, now both hands on his hips.
"All right, I wasn't the most subtle about that, but listen! I have a very nice guy in mind. A-And you both could just be nice friends! If needed, I can always chaperone - err, wait. You're too old for that..."
Flustered is one word for it. He's got a finger to his chin as he walks closer to Inigo, but he's more pacing than he is trying to get by. The logical part of him knows Inigo is absolutely correct: he needs to know how to handle this especially since neither of his boys are going to grow any younger, and will be exploring more and more of the world around them. But the Roland of now is a bit overheated, between accidentally showing his new son potential pornography on his phone, to now proving incompetent with regards to his children's dating lives.
"What...what was your question again?" PERFECT. Smooth! A great way to get back on track! Or for Roland to, because he can't believe Inigo found him out so easily! Where is his iconic poker face now!!
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Okay, it might have been in some situations, let's be real. But Inigo is so hyper-focused on this topic right now that it's a lot harder to distract him from it, especially with what Roland just said!
"That's the strange part, father!" Inigo whines. Or at least, he thinks it's the strange part? That's the whole problem here in the first place, after all - having no idea if this is just normal in this world, or if it's a case of Roland being Roland. It's not exactly like Inigo has spoken to any other fathers in this new world he's found himself in, after all, and his own experience with fathers aside from Roland is pretty much non-existent.
"Is that how it usually happens? Do fathers pick matches for their children here?" You'd think it would be less odd to Inigo, with him being a prince and all, but matches being made for royalty is one of the royalty cliches that doesn't apply back in Ylisse. "W-What if I don't like the guy? Or, um.. I mean, what if I don't like him romantically! It will be awkward! I don't want to break his heart!"
(Though, honestly, he thinks it's more likely that the guy might not like him rather than the other way around, but he's not speaking that fear out loud right now.)
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He leans a hand back against the edge of the counter, with his other arm resting on his hip. If anyone else had been witness to his stony expression, they might think he was actually angry. But no, Roland is suddenly thrust into a situation where he is clinging to every word Inigo is saying, to every explanation that falls from his lips; and he's certain Inigo knows that too. Dad is concentrating! Because there's something about his good intentions that set Inigo off and he has to understand it wholly!
Until he finally does and it clicks. With wide eyes, he suddenly drops his focus and turns extremely apologetic. He shakes his head in protest.
"N-No, you've got it all wrong! Gah, I'm sorry, I - " Roland looks around for a minute, runs his fingers through his hair. Shorter now, easier to maintain. Less strands to fixate at though, especially when he's racing to say the right thing. "In this country, nobody can really pick a match for you. But you can introduce someone to another person if you think they might get along."
Did that make sense? Oh he is praying to the skies above that he is making sense. Inigo was already adjusting to so much. Roland shouldn't be overcomplicating this.
"In fact, you could just end up as good friends! This is, uh. This is mostly what dating is in this world, Inigo, but I really only wanted to introduce you to the ambassador's son to help grow your circle! Y-You didn't have to date, I promise!"
He has now reverted to explaining with his hand gestures, inching closer and closer to Inigo in the hopes that he's not messing up his perception of modern-day dating. The thought does occur to him that it might be too soon for his pup to even think about these things, so fresh and new on earth still, learning and adapting to even the smallest details...
Meanwhile, the pizza is cooking nicely behind them, crust browning gently.
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Inigo sure isn't paying much attention to them, for one. Sure, he was pretty okay with the idea of having dinner, but he's very much distracted by something else right now. Those pizzas are only one dinner, after all, but meeting someone and dating them could be for the rest of his life! It's a big, life-changing sort of thing!
Even as Roland reassures him it's not about dating necessarily.
But it still kind of feels like it is to Inigo. Or maybe it's just that he really wants to make his dad proud, and he's trying to figure out what Roland is thinking here. Would Roland want him to date someone? It'd probably look good for the son of the president to be dating someone else within diplomatic circles, huh..
He's quiet for a moment, thoughtful, but when he speaks up he sounds a lot less flustered.
And more.. vulnerable, maybe? It's harder to tell from his tone, but it's very much visible in Inigo's eyes - the familiar insecurity.
"Do you.. Do you think he'd like to know me?" Even in a non-dating sort of way, but it's not as if Inigo could meet this boy now without constantly thinking of dating thanks to this whole conversation-- "He wouldn't think I'm odd? You know, since I'm.. I'm still trying to get used to all of this."
The modern world, that is, not the very specific niche of modern world dating.
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But Roland needed to see that shift, subtle as it might be to anyone else as a witness. He knows though; can tell with that hesitation in his voice whereas he was more spirited just moments before. And as Inigo shows him this vulnerability freely, so too does Roland take it willingly and changes with him, his own expression morphing into one of total reassurance. Ready to take on his worries as his own, something that comes naturally to Roland despite the front he presents to his peers, his constituents. He moves smoothly to cross the distance in two long steps, his hands already on Inigo's shoulders, his chin tilted in a way that he's looking for that gaze to meet. Roland's smile matches the mood, lifting it such that his intentions are made clear from hereon out. He never meant to make Inigo think about these things too soon. It's good that he reminded Roland there's a long way to go before he can even start to look for a partner.
"Hey," He says, both hands in a firm grip to ease whatever rising tension might build from Inigo's natural worries. "Everyone you've met in the office wanted to get to know you the moment I brought you up there. You're a natural with people, like I said a million times over. That's no less true here in my world."
Despite the changes to Roland's physical appearance, with no more magic to hide who he really is, the act of tenderness is remembered like perfect muscle memory, the closest of his hands to Inigo's cheek rising to pinch carefully, without any pain.
"Of course he'd want to get to know you. Anybody would. And if they passed up on the chance? They'd be missing out, big time." Nevermind the modern world learning curve. Though Roland supposes that's not something he can objectively tell Inigo not to worry about, so he chuckles and retracts his touch for a moment, just to rest his hands on his hips, addressing the whole thing with a bit more level-headedness than when Inigo suddenly sprung on him the idea of William seeing someone.
Both of his sons seeing people! He'll need more time for that!
"I'm sorry, pup. I guess I just got excited. I didn't mean to scare you. Or make you worry. You're right. There's a whole new world out here for you to explore and get used to first. There'll be plenty of time for casual dating later."
And just to add a touch of playfulness to something he might have messed up by jumping the gun, he does the unthinkable and actually winks - but the motion is so small that it could have been mistaken as an easy trick of the light; a bug flying into his eye that he tries to blink away. Was it a wink?! Who knows!
"Later...when you're forty. Heh."
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If anything, Roland's ever-present attitude suits this look more than the one he had back on the train, when he and Inigo easily could have been mistaken for brothers instead with the way they acted so affectionately around each other.
"Thanks, father. Though forty may be a tad late.."
Inigo doesn't sound very upset, so that means he most likely realises it's just playfulness on the older man's part. Or he would have been freaking out more at this point.
Besides, the next remark Inigo makes has a hint of a similar - though perhaps more subdued - playfulness in it on his part.
"I mean, wouldn't you want to have some cute grandchild around?" Look, Inigo may like guys, but it's not like that completely erases that option, okay! If he gets used to this world, and actually manages to find a partner who's into him, Inigo thinks he'd very much like that. Having a child to call his own. "You'd probably act so adorable around them."
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wow that had so many typos, i'm so sorry ;_;
sshhh i never see any typos, everything is just the way you intended it to be
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ooc;