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[ d-did someone say swimming??

It's a word - an activity - that Tidus doesn't expect to hear. Strange, and- it brings a feeling over him to think about, swimming. A person so used to spending his days in water, going months without it. A certain kind of longing that reaches his bones. ]

I hope so. [ There's something almost pleading, small about that hope. ] Was there anything else interesting on the voting last time? Everyone really wanted that spa, I guess... but a pool would be great fun, you can do a lot with a pool! Exercising, playing, relaxing...

[ Perhaps not even on purpose, Inigo found a button in Tidus. One that makes his shoulders ease, sigh as he admits- ] I really miss swimming whenever...

You'll be able to do so again.

[ Maybe it's a bit of a reckless promise. After all, maybe the train will just randomly decide to never poll them again, with how whimsical it can be. Or maybe not many people will be interested in the idea of a pool.

But how can Inigo say anything else? When there's that obvious desire in Tidus's voice - that longing that Inigo can't help but want to fulfill.

Tidus deserves it, anyway. Hasn't he worked hard enough? (Hasn't he suffered enough, forced to carry the weight of the decision he made?)

He leans a bit more into those now more relaxed shoulders, resting his chin on top of one fondly, his cheek against Tidus's neck. ]

I'll make it happen for you. You trust me, right?

[ The touch of skin on skin tickles Tidus at first, though it's small. Quiet in the flush of it, ... the comfort of it. Plus, what Inigo is promising. Who knows what'll come up? Just like the spa. What people will end up wanting, what'll be more useful. It's a promise not entirely in Inigo's hands, but- ]

I'll keep you to it. [ He answers playfully, but still a promise. Bringing an arm to rest on the wrapped over him, touching his hand to the forearm. Not sure what to do with it there, but not fussing. Not thinking. ] I'll start teaching you how to hold your breath then. You gotta learn if you're gonna play blitzball one day.

[ It's a fun thought, isn't it? Nice before that time before sleep. ]

A few minutes everyday. Then a few minutes more the better you get!

[ Honestly, Inigo isn't all that confident that he'll really be able to learn how to hold his breath just by practicing.. but it's not like he's going to give up on the idea before even trying. Especially since.. ]

I really want to play blitzball with you.

[ Inigo even knows that he wouldn't feel bad about being inadequate at it - because it's just Tidus's thing. Of course the other is a natural at him, way beyond what Inigo himself could ever reach if he'd try to learn it. But he'd like to at the very least become decent enough at it that he can play with Tidus. That Tidus can play it again somehow, someday - even if it's just a fun thought and nothing more for now. ]

You must look so cool doing it.

How about I show you? [ There's a pride to him, a confidence - of course he isn't going to deny he looks cool. He hopes he looks cool, and he wants to, plans to now. Even if Inigo were to say no for some reason, it's really no good that he's not showing his best friends more of who he really is. The guy he was, the guy he'd choose to be again in a heartbeat. ]

But you have to show me something too.

[ Because it's never that easy. ]

Sure.

[ That's not an answer he really has to think about. Of course he'll watch Tidus play blitzball. Tidus already saw him dance in turn, after all, though Inigo seems to feel a whole lot more selfconscious and nervous about people watching him perform his passion than Tidus does.

.. then again, his friend was a big star, right? It's not like you can be that without liking the feeling of people watching you. Seeing you go at it. People liking you. ]

I'll watch whenever you want. [ There are a lot of things he'd do for the other, after all. Crush or no crush. Tidus is still an incredibly important friend to him regardless. ]

What do you want to see? I can't do much that'd be really interesting to watch, I think.

[ Is he avoiding mentioning dance on purpose or does he just genuinely think that? Who knows. He doesn't sound like he's trying to lie really hard on purpose right now, at least. Inigo still just sounds comfortable, content with their current spooning position and conversation. ]

You kidding? I wanna see you dance again. Your passion for mine! [ aha! ] Then it's a deal.

[ Does he know that rushing to call it a deal likely won't stop Inigo from picking up a fuss? He probably feels it in that embrace, in the muscles of Inigo's arms as he declares his wanted trade: a blitzball demonstration for more of Inigo's dancing.

But it doesn't matter to Tidus. He's prepared for it, willing to fight a battle of whines and protests. Why not fight to get Inigo to give himself the chance to do what he enjoys, is just stopped by his own insecurities?

Even if he has to meet Inigo's fuss, he's ready. Happy to, even. Come at him, bro. ]

[ Tidus can predict Inigo so well.

Because of course he's going to kick up a fuss. There's no way he isn't going to at the mention of the d-word. The tension is immediately there in Inigo's arms, in the way he lets out a whiny sound from his position curled up against Tidus's back. He is COMING AT HIM indeed. ]

Please tell me you're just joking.

[ Even though he has a feeling that Tidus isn't joking right now - no matter how often he may joke at other times. ]

You know it's much easier for you to do anything blitzball-related than for me to dance!

For now! [ He teases, but just as much as he sounds sure. ] I have practice, I've been in the game for years! You, [ Tidus points out, ] haven't had the freedom and time to really find your groove!

And, I like your dancing. [ There's nothing simpler to it. Tidus can see all the faces that Inigo is likely to be making behind his back - but it might be easier for him to hear like this too, without them facing each other. ] You're like a totally different guy, you're enjoying yourself - I want to see you like that again.

[ Happy, carefree. Taking by his passions, a melody leading his body. ]

I wanna see it a lot more.

Ugh..

[ It's not even an annoyed 'ugh'. It's very much an embarrassment 'ugh', and faces are being made behind Tidus's back. Inigo even shifts a little so his head is no longer resting against the other guy's shoulder, just so he can be sure that Tidus isn't seeing a bit of the way his face starts to colour red here in the darkness.

But how is he supposed to deal with this kind of talk? It's really hard, for a myriad of reasons. Almost as hard as that talk about Tidus and his world and his future from a while ago, although it doesn't quite get all the way there. ]

It's because that's what I wanted to do. [ He mumbles. ] When I was a little kid, when I thought about the future. But things didn't turn out that way.

[ Tidus doesn't mind what his back or shoulders end up being for the guy. A shield from him, a comfort; whatever the case, Tidus doesn't turn his head to search for a face he knows he won't be able to see. He's fine like this, just the two of them talking. The arms around him, no matter the way they make him shy if he overthinks it. ]

It's the future now. Your future. [ Not the way Inigo wanted, but... ] You said you still have stuff to do when you go back, but then - you'll have the time, won't you? To dance again. Once you get rid of Grima.

[ Wasn't that the goal? To get rid of that dragon ruining all the worlds connected to Inigo's. Once they were done with... ]

I don't know. It's.. It's difficult for me too. [ He admits.

Sure, it's in an entirely different way than Tidus, which is why he doesn't want to talk about it too much. The decisions Tidus had to make were much heavier in Inigo's opinion, and he understands why it might make the other feel conflicted about the future.

So it feels childish to whine about his own issues when they feel like nothing in comparison. Just Inigo overthinking, probably. Just dumb feelings.

He doesn't let go of Tidus though, even as he's staring at the other's back. ]

I'm not that same person anymore. I'm not sure who or what I'll be like once it's all over.

But you can still dance for now, can't you? Whatever comes, you have this chance.

[ Tidus can understand the reluctance, wherever it comes from: apprehension, that that shy personality that keeps Inigo from dancing in front of others in the first place. He's just glad he doesn't have to speak over the rain now, though the drizzle continues to patter lightly at their tent. ]

I don't know what's going to come after all this. When you go home... what's waiting for you? For anyone. Maybe you'll be too busy to dance for a long time. Or- who knows what's waiting?

[ He reaches for the wrist of the hand on him, the one he can feel for easy; slipping down lower, and squeezing the hand he finds under his. ]

But you don't have to give up it now. Treasure it. I know it means a lot to you, so - don't let anyone take it away from you. Not even you. Even if it's just for a few moments.

Don't miss out. Okay?

[ There are just about a thousand different ways Inigo wants to protest right now. It arrives instinctively, and the words almost leave his mouth without him considering them too much - like a reflex.

But he just can't. Inigo thinks about Tidus's words. About wanting to see him be the same he is when he dances, about treasuring something important to you. He thinks about that hand on his own right now. More than anything, he thinks about Tidus's words from earlier about himself, and how even now it feels like they make something in his chest clench so tightly that it hurts. ]

Okay.

[ It's soft. For a moment there's nothing but the light rain above them.

Inigo thinks about Roland's face from earlier today. ]

It feels like a dumb, small thing though. Between everything that's going on.

[ Everyone's pain. Both here on the train and back in their own worlds. Tidus's situation, Roland's situation, Taiki and Gyousou's situation. Even Inigo's own situation, though he's trying to keep it out of consideration. Their shared situation here.

Who cares about dancing when there's still so much in the multiverse left to fix first? ]

You don't think about that with Taiki's painting. [ ... ] And we have that large robot waiting for Roland.

[ Which is a peculiar thing to remember after everything today. Will Roland be less freaked out in the morning? Tomorrow? It's not the Roland they found that Tidus wants to hold onto as a memory, to bring up as he speaks now. No- ]

I want those memories. Those times where we were just...ourselves. [ More than these missions, what they're pushed into being. ] We're more than just fighters. We're people.

Some people don't get a choice. But isn't that what people fight for? So you do. [ So you do have a choice. A chance. ]

I don't... [ He starts, but before he can finish the sentence, it just trails off. A small sound follows it. It almost sounds like frustration, but in that confused sort of way, like Inigo just really doesn't know how to put something.

But he's trying. They're lying here so close to each other now, so he wants to try and be open, even if it's hard. Even if he usually doesn't talk about this stuff. ]

I don't fight for me. I never have. I.. I fought for others, of course, so they could have a choice, but.. [ Never him.

Maybe that's the problem. He's never thought of himself, ever since he started fighting. Protecting Ylisse was about saving other people's lives. Going back to the past even moreso, since he knew fully well that he'd just be erasing his own existence, his own place in any world.

And that decision had been so easy.

He hadn't even had to think about it for a single moment. ]

I'm not sure if I ever even really thought about me as a person. I just thought about.. about what I had to do.

...Yuna... was kinda the same.

[ He's sure he's shared it before. A story that isn't his own, but a story he fought against. Her life for everyone else's, that will that was unyielding in its determination. Until the very end, and on - because they came to that end that so many other summoners faced, and- they moved on.

The memories - that apprehension, that fear - seeps over him easy, that frame of mind. Admirable, maddening; the fear above all. Tidus, considering it for just a second, rolls himself around. Mindful of Inigo's arms, of where his shoulder ends up resting. He can't really see Inigo under this shroud of the night, except for the vague of outlines. His nose, the sliver of light catching on an eye. ]

Living just so other people do. Sacrificing everything to give everyone else a future... So they wouldn't be afraid one day.

[ He holds, voice low. ]

But... you're someone too, [ he promises gently, words subdued by the night. ] You have a future.

[ A future he should take. A future he should dare to dream for. ]

It's okay if it's hard. [ ... ] But it's nice, isn't it? When we don't fight, and hangout. I want to fight for everyone else, but... I want to fight for that too. For everyone. Me and you too.

[ Maybe it's ironic.

Inigo always thought that Tidus would be the shyer one in this situation. With them lying next to each other like this, facing each other, rather than the times where they've been lying in bed back-to-chest instead. But now this is actually happening, even in the dark when it's hard to make out much of anything, Inigo is the one who feels the shyness in his heart grow.

Maybe it's since it's Tidus. Or maybe it's since Inigo has always been bad at letting the sun he shines over everyone else turn towards him without feeling like he doesn't deserve it. ]

.. It is nice. [ He finally manages to force out after a moment, his voice softer. Grateful that the darkness most likely hides the tears he starts feeling in his eyes. As if he hasn't cried enough today yet to already have run completely dry. ] I like it. When we hang out. When we-- I try to be normal.

[ Even though it's unfamiliar, and even though he feels like he fumbles more often than not. ]

I'm happy whenever we do that.

[ I'm happy when I'm near you.

He tucks those words away carefully inside of his heart, even moreso after the mention of Yuna. ]

[ Tidus chuckles, a glad sound, small and light. A hand fumbling between them in the dark, his fingers brushing against a chest, a forearm, until Tidus finds the hand he's looking for. Because he wants to take it in his, give it one last squeeze for confidence; bring it up between them, settle it there for just a moment. ]

Cool. [ Eheh. ] Nice. See? Not so bad, being a normal guy. Not everything's about magic or fighting.

[ A tease, and he takes his hand away. ]

We should do more normal guy things. [ Oh- ] Let's buy some more magazines.

Are magazines really that much of a normal guy thing?

[ It sounds as if Inigo wants to say it in some dry, deadpan way. But it ends up coming out a bit differently because of the tears in his eyes, because of how tender the emotions in his chest feel right now - a bit more choked than he intended it to. ]

You might have to guide me on that one. [ There's a slight pause, and then it's Inigo's hand fumbling, trying to find the hand that just left his own. ] A-And sheesh, at least let me hold your hand right now, okay.. Don't just pull it away like that.

Sor-ry! [ He sing-songs in mock huffiness, humour colouring the edges of the word. His hand back in Inigo's grasp. ] I didn't know the rules! Okay, I guess you get whatever you want.

[ Heh! ] But anyway, I liked magazines. I used to read them all the time! It's fun, you can read all kinds of stuff in them. Half of it's junk, but who cares? Junk's all you want from magazines.

[ There's a beat though, and Tidus remembers- ] Oh, what did you think of your magazines anyway?

[ It's a slight surprise that Tidus gives them the hand so easily. Even the huffiness isn't real - Inigo can tell as much, after witnessing it enough times.

But it's not the kind of surprise he's going to complain about. Quite the contrary. Inigo can feel himself instinctively smile the moment the hand is back in his grasp, the hold tightening into a momentary squeeze before going back to holding it regularly. ]

I liked them.

[ No hesitation or shame about that now, despite the subject. Tidus already knows about the dancing, whatever. What does he have left to hide? ]

There were all sorts of things in there about dance I'd never even heard of before. And honestly, it's so much easier to read than a book.

Yeah, right? There's magazines in the library, but they're all to do with void travel this or voidcrafts that. They're never anything fun!

[ Sorry, Nita. Meanwhile, sleepiness massages the edges of Tidus's eyes, holding on even in the time he closes his eyes. Difficult to see much of anything in the first place, but this mood is a lot nicer, something Tidus isn't yet willing to give up. A cheeriness returned after the twists and turns of their own fears and futures. ]

You should get more dancing magazines. Treat yourself! And I'll get a couple of blitzball magazines. How about it?

[ A faint, amused sound escapes Inigo. ]

You know that I'm not going to remember half of this in the morning, right?

[ Okay, maybe it's an exaggeration. He's going to remember quite a bit of this, especially since they discussed some pretty serious topics. And Inigo doubts he's going to forget this feeling anytime soon. Lying there together, so close, Tidus's hand in his own. It's just nice. It's warm. He wants to treasure it. ]

You could make me promise just about anything right now, because I'm not going to remember anyway. [ That's what usually happens with sleepy talk, after all. ]

Edited 2020-12-23 18:42 (UTC)

Hrmmmm? [ There's a low rumble of delight; a temptation offered and found. ] Sounds I should raise the stakes. Anything I want?

[ A low chuckle that doesn't leave his mouth. He flicks his forefinger against the hand with it playfully. Not really catching, not really meaning anything. ]

Videogames. Let's play more.

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