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Like an expert multitasker at twin teen duality, Roland embraces Inigo with one arm over him briefly while answering Tidus with his usual dryness.

"No, I just wake up early." So he knows what's going on in the dining and kitchen cars, okay! Don't mess with his routine! He takes another long gulp of his coffee, emptying its contents with ease.

"No. I didn't cook today. But I heard the honeyed eggs are exceptionally tasty." Which is a blessing for you dear train goers, with Roland just helping where he can and not actually flexing his cooking imagination for the time being. "Why? You two adding a few more dishes to choose from? That's great."

Ugh, look at the two of them. Tidus doesn't bother resisting the roll of his eyes as he goes to poke around where his nose may lead him. The smell of honey sweet, but it's not until '--the honeyed eggs' that the scent of them suddenly become more appetising. Eggs?? There any still around?

"We need any more? I'll cook if I have to - You just stand there like a life guard and be pretty. I don't think the train's ready for your secret pancake recipe."

Roland and Inigo can do whatever it is they do when they get all weird and sappy. Tidus wants to see if there's any more of these eggs in the kitchen...!

Inigo is still busy enjoying his Daily Morning Dad Hug over here, but when he hears the other teen speak, he removes his arms from Roland so he can turn and look in Tidus's direction. Wait, bro, why are you going to cook? Weren't they going to have a conversation with Roland about cooking and him not having to be afraid of it?! Did Tidus just instantly get distracted by the idea of food? The food fiend. Go figure.

"What's wrong, Tidus?" Usually that statement wouldn't be very weird.

But Inigo is using a Tone. Such a Tone. He probably figures he's being subtle, but he's not being subtle in the slightest with the hint-hint-nudge-nudge quality to his voice right now.

"Shouldn't we let Roland cook?" How else is their favourite old man going to get over his nervousness, bro!!

Tidus pauses, if not immediately turning and looking back with The Tone. But it does seem to have his attention plenty enough to tip his head and wonder what it is Inigo has to say, and -- oh. Oh? Is that what they're going for here?

Now Tidus will turn back, making it apparent he's eyeing Roland. His bottom lip sticking out, a thoughtful dip to his brow...

"You think so? Right now?" A beat. "You up for it?"

He could be mistaken as looking at Roland when he says that, when his eyes settle longer on Inigo. You ready to support your train daddy??

His arm falls back as soon as Inigo lets go, elbow on the counter. When it comes to twin teens, they always seem to have a particular look shared between them that a more perceptive eye won't be able to ignore. Such is Roland's current state catching on to the tone Inigo throws Tidus. His eyebrow lifts in an arch, suspicious without having to say a word.

Regardless of where that gaze lands Tidus, Roland isn't going to let it pass!

"Up for what?" Looks like they're planning something again.

You bet he's ready! He was born ready for this! Inigo smiles back at Tidus, as if that's all the answer the other needs.

Besides, there's clearly nothing suspicious about this plan. Not to Inigo, anyway, who has been thoroughly convinced by Tidus that there are nothing but good intentions behind this plan in the first place. It's all for Roland's wellbeing! To make him more comfortable!

Inigo turns to look at Roland this time - still with the same smile, without any malice or cheekiness behind it. Just genuine happiness.

"I know we cooked together last time, father, but.. could you maybe make something for me by yourself this time?" Look at those eyes. Those shining, big puppy eyes looking up at you, Roland. Can you be suspicious of those? Can you resist them? "Pleaaaaaase?"

"Yeah." Yeah, make something. Tidus is standing here, the image of innocence - or, alright, just your regular ol' Tidus. Smile on his face, a slightly crooked brow, looking over at the pair and with a hand resting on his side. Only lifting his brows with a slight tilt of the head should Roland linger on him any.

"Why not? How about the Crane family special?" Aha! After all- "Isn't Inigo family now?"

Tidus might've considered for a second offering himself up to be fed, but considering how Roland makes pancakes actually taste? Pass.

"Well, that's definitely not suspicious."

What else can he say when both of them were flanking him, asking him to cook out of nowhere? Not even that cute little plea from One Pup is convincing him to just jump into this, when it's immediately followed up with Tidus's jab at something he shared with him in these very kitchens once upon a time. As usual, context is king, and Roland is the jester with very little idea of what actually is going on. All he knows is that memory of him sharing his special - putrid - pancake recipe from his past led to some very interesting shenanigans of their own making.

He doesn't budge though, not yet. Instead, he stands to full length and crosses his arms. Doesn't quite know who to look at right now, maybe he'll shift to both, since if he lingers on either, he's not sure what look they'll be throwing at him next.

"So...you want me to make you pancakes?" He'll assume Tidus already shared what that secret family special was, and he's not denying anything here! "Is there some sort of celebratory occasion I'm missing?"

Edited 2021-01-01 19:43 (UTC)

UGH, TIDUS. You're ruining the mood! Look, now he's been all cute for nothing, because Roland is still calling it suspicious. Inigo is pretty sure the other wouldn't have done that if it had just been him asking.

.. or maybe Roland is just trying to make excuses? It's a reason that only dawns upon him a moment later, but Inigo thinks it's possible. This is exactly the kind of behaviour he uses when he's nervously trying to weasel himself out of something, after all!

"Father.. Is there something you have to tell me? Or.. er, us?" It feels awkward to leave Tidus out, okay, regardless of whether or not Roland may confess to this more easily without the other teen there. "Is there any reason you wouldn't want to do that for us?" Inigo's tone is kind of coaxing, but in a weirdly encouraging kind of way. Come on, Roland. You can tell him. Your son is here for you.

Is it Tidus's fault if Roland is just always suspicious of everything Tidus does or say?! The trust in this friendship. pah!!!

Not that Tidus knows the best way to approach this, himself. He was having plenty of fun throwing all those innuendos and one-sided jokes Inigo's way, but now that they've confronted the man that's the presidential butt of them - well, who knows how this'll go?

Tidus can't imagine it'll hurt at the very least - why should it? - throwing a half-amused smile at Roland. Clearly, for the way he's acting.

"You're not getting shy on us, are you Rol?" Tidus joins in. "What's so bad about a friendly fun activity in the morning?"

A deliberate pause, and on goes flips the light switch.

"Ohhh... you afraid of someone walking in on you?"

"..."

It's virtually impossible to look any more confused than he does already, at this point. Roland flashes them the most Look that's ever been flashed in the history of the entire void, but his mind still isn't connecting any of the hints they keep blatantly throwing his way.

In fact, they're starting to sound like they weren't even talking about food, so he has to wonder if the twin teens have once again, struck without his knowing. He wouldn't put it past them. Though if he were to play to their schemes, he'd like to know what schemes these would be in particular!

"Sure." Roland answers wryly, dripping with sarcasm. "That sure is why I'm asking questions. Because I'm afraid of someone walking in on me...cooking pancakes in the kitchen."

He can already tell he'll need a second cup of coffee. But look at them, Inigo seems to be convinced there's truly something stopping Roland from making him food, and while the intentions are clouded in mystery at the moment, he isn't sure what else could be stopping him really. Maybe just one thing, which he vocalizes with certainty as he walks around the counters to start looking for familiar ingredients: flour, salt, sugar, pantry staples.

Look at this poor, poor old man. Still trying to dodge the issue. Still feeling nervous about it, even in front of his two very own pup and pro! Clearly this must be a deeply rooted issue. Sure, Roland can be tight-lipped about some things, but he's shared a lot with the two of them lately - so Inigo figured that getting this out of the other would be a little easier than it's turning out to be.

So he starts thinking about how else to approach this. Watching the guy as he starts to gather the ingredients. Glancing back and forth between him and Tidus.

.. slowly Inigo gets the feeling that maybe him trying to be subtle is the problem. You know what, maybe he should just go for it.

Inigo turns back to Roland, waving a hand.

"No, no, it's not that! Not exactly, anyway-- It's because you're afraid of someone noticing your performance issues, right?" He says it so innocently too. Inigo is never subtle about these things. If he was joking, he wouldn't be able to hold back a grin.

So no, this is entirely serious. This is just one (1) son, terribly concerned about his father!

Please don't mind Tidus as he turns his head and makes this face trying not to laugh.

There it is.

Whatever it is Roland's supposed to be doing is immediately halted, the metal bowl in his hand dropped unceremoniously unto the counter, a bang he didn't intended to sound so loud the way that it does...but just hearing that from Inigo and now, seeing Tidus look away -

"...Oh, you've got to be kidding me." There's no other explanation for the way his face drops, the expression like stone on a face that looks way too young to be this unbelieving, this taken aback. Of all the things he never expected to hear from Inigo of all people, it would be performance issues.

And of course, there's only one person to blame for all this. It becomes all too clear to Roland how things have been set up; suddenly coming into the kitchen, asking him to cook pancakes, of which Tidus failed to perform himself. Was he still angry about that? It was a joke he made to Roland first! Look at this kid, dishing it out but can't handle it when he does it right back!

Roland has a hand on his hip and all searching has stopped. He leans his other hand on the counter like some house dad looking at twin teens for ANSWERS. But one teen in particular, is getting the stare down of his life.

"Look at me. What exactly did you tell him?" Roland mutters wryly, unblinking.

Edited 2021-01-05 16:56 (UTC)

What is Tidus meant to do in this situation?

The clatter of the bowl, the exasperation expelled from Roland. A hitch of a laugh leaves Tidus, turning into low chuckles that shake his shoulders as his arms wrap around his gut. It was worth it. Everything was worth it! Not even the fear of an adult telling off can do anything to dispel this absolutely riot going of inside Tidus.

But he turns. Slowly. His face so rigid and smile so large; like a cork to hide the flood of emotion he really feels. Arms folded very naturally in front of his stomach.

"What. Inigo's just concerned. 'Bout your issues. Pops."

Of course that kind of reaction from Roland is only going to inspire a single emotion in Inigo. And that is panic. Because even though Inigo was - genuinely so! - trying to be helpful here, it seems that his words had the exact opposite effect. He knows it the moment Roland's expression drops from that, going from suspicious (bad) to exasperated (worse).

And the worst part is that Inigo isn't even sure why. He feels like there's something here that majorly went over his head, because why would Roland feel or look that way otherwise!

At least, before Inigo can fall into a fullblown panic, he can follow Roland's gaze. See where it's going, and see that it's thankfully mostly aimed at the other teenage.

Who seems totally unfazed in the face of it.

It takes a few moments, but slowly the puzzle pieces are starting to fall into place in Inigo's mind. He too turns towards Tidus, but Inigo just looks like he's in total dramatic despair over here.

"Tidus, what did you do?!"

HE CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE USING HIM AS A PAWN IN YOUR SCHEMES.

Oh, this guy is getting it good.

The front he presents to both of them is eerily calm, steady lips without a single movement, and if there's any sign that Roland hasn't actually turned to stone, it's that he's visibly breathing out. Counting to five in his head. The frown that's etched itself into his expression could seem permanent at the rate Tidus recovers and pokes fun at him still. Roland usually, wouldn't relent. Petty things like this; he's used to it from him!

But Inigo is being misled, and his own honor is being put into question - or otherwise. Whatever it is you call it. For a joke that apparently, he carried with him to his bedside and never let go!!!

"Issues, huh."

Suddenly, he jumps back into movement, resuming the assembly of bowls and ingredients. Dry goods first, plopped down nicely before he makes a whole motion to look around for the wet ingredients next. But his mouth shows a smile, or a mix thereof with a smirk or a taunt that may be soon to follow. He's not hiding it; if Tidus wants to play, so be it! May the pup be the witness to the truth!

"No, no. I'll make pancakes. I'll make as many pancakes as I can. And then when I'm done with the batter," Roland looks pointedly at Tidus, a quiet energy charged beneath a seemingly calm facade. "Tidus is going to flip the pancakes for us, Inigo. He's going to flip it right in front of us, and he'll do it until we get a whole stack of pancakes ready to serve."

Was that all? Absolutely not. He hopes Tidus has been practicing because he's got plans now that Inigo calls out performance issues - the joke that has developed far more than Roland ever anticipated. The President can be just as silly when he wishes too, only when the right eyes are on him. That laugh is enough to incite his wrath though, so he'll add one last thing before a pouch of baking soda is placed on the counter next.

"Tidus can taste test too, pup. Don't worry. He's a fan of the Crane family recipe! Loves the stuff. Can you help your daddy out today? Make sure he eats plenty?"

His word choice is pretty clear too. Oh, he's in the ring alright. He's ready to go.

Tidus meets the accusation from Inigo's side the same as he's already meeting Roland: feigned innocence that doesn't hit well when a perplexed raise of the brow fights to ignore the smile that can't be pushed down off his face. A shrug of his shoulders, a tilt of his head doing little to aid his point. What did he do?? What did he do indeed??

But then- a new challenger arrives. A returning one even, with a smile and presence that almost confuses Tidus for what it is. Exasperation that's found its footing, and Tidus isn't sure how to react immediately to this shift. Until the goal of it is finally made clear in a delivery that may paint itself as calm, innocuous. Except with those eyes unwavering on him and the mention of flipping leaving Roland's lips.

Oh. Oh.

"I'll flip every single pancake you want me to!" Tidus meets Roland's threat with a loud and daring energy on his own; somehow seeming straighter, taller, all the ready to go. "You better help the old man with his measuring, Inigo. His eye sight isn't what it used to be. Or is your tongue the problem? Losing your tastebuds?"

Why is this escalating so rapidly.

Granted, Inigo is used to situations that involve both him, Roland and Tidus to escalate. That much is normal, they've had enough of those moments together. But this feels like something beyond that - especially since it feels like something he's not in on. Inigo obviously missed some conversation between the other two here, because it's not like this fire of competition just starts burning out of nowhere.

He instinctively takes a step back, like he definitely doesn't want to be right between those two when they get like this. Hey, please spare him from ending up as collateral damage, thanks..

"H-Hey, come on, you two!" Inigo starts, knowing that this attempt to pacify is probably useless when the two of them have already come this far. He can't help but put up his hands all the same though.

But what else is he supposed to do in this warzone of a kitchen all of a sudden?!

"Can't we just enjoy pancakes the regular way..?" Without potential death. The death of someone's dignity here, that is.

There is only one person to blame in this historical meeting of the stubborn, and it's definitely not the guy already multitasking by opening up the bags of flour, getting jars of sugar and salt ready with flipped lids. Inigo's attempt to side-step while playing peacemaker at the same time is well-received, but for some reason, it only goads Roland further into mischief. He has all his facilities in a state of calm despite the rising pitch of words and challenges thrown his way, but Roland's placing more effort in withholding a grin that threatens to break his facade rather than actually pretending to be passive about it all.

Performance issues, oh give him a break! One joke! One!

When the measuring cups come out, Roland dips it into a mound of white before the flour fills the rim, dumped into his mixing bowl with eerie cheer.

"Oh, don't worry Inigo. We're enjoying pancakes every which way. I mean, that's the plan at least." The way he adds more and more of each ingredient becomes worrisome, but Roland retains his confidence in every teaspoon of sugar dumped in with the flour; he's certain that this is how much to add. When he told Tidus that day that he still remembers how it goes, that wasn't a lie. Not even know, his hands only pausing to read labels before his mind recalls what needs to be done and it's added right away.

The way he leads them on though - the way the sentence ends and lilts - is indicative that there's something else resting on that sharp tongue.

"If Tidus can even get the thing up. The frying pan we'll be using to cook, I mean. To flip."

Round two, fight.

Tidus is watching Roland with very little promise for how this is going to go. But does he interrupt, guide Roland in the middle of the war? He's going big for someone who can barely get right the measurements for a handful of pancakes, and Tidus can tell from from where he stands. Hey, he's just the guy here to flip.

And bite.

"Uh huh," comes dry off the end of that joke explained. Keep going, pal. Tidus leans the side of his weight against a steel counter, arms comfortable folded across his stomach. "The only flaccid thing here is Roland's technique. You sure you're gonna satisfy anyone with those teaspoons there? But I guess a guy in politics knows how to look good on the outside, but where it actually counts..."

Does Tidus actually know anything about politicians? No, but he'll leave himself trailing there, hope his words hit their mark. All show, no substance.

(inigo who)

There has never been a moment where Roland said 'don't worry' and Inigo has been more worried about it than this very moment right here. Especially with everything that's going into these pancakes. Inigo has never made them before, so he has no clue if Roland is doing it the right way, but.. is there really supposed to be so much stuff in it?!

He's so worried about what might end up going into Tidus's mouth in a little while that all the innuendo flying back and forth is going fifteen miles straight over his head.

Instead he just moves until he can latch onto Tidus's arm with both hands (that's what happens when you forget he's there for a moment, bro!), looking at the other with big, concerned eyes.

"T-Tidus, you don't know what you're saying! What if that poisons you!" What if Roland is messing up the pancakes on purpose, huh?

He turns his head - though still not letting go of that arm - to glance over at Roland. A pleading look in his eyes. Maybe the older guy is the one easier to convince over here.

"And father, you'll just make him say more mean things!"

PLEASE! He's trying to play peacekeeper here!

"Mean things? More like slanderous things."

After he TRUTSED him with the CRANE FAMILY RECIPE!!! Inigo, listen to your dad, he's being undermined! He's being betrayed! A breach of contract! There is no love in this house!!!

He's dumping in an extra teaspoon of sugar while staring at Tidus in the eye. If he thinks he's breaking a sweat out of a little under the belt play, he's got another thing coming.

"Besides, it's not about the size of the utensil, Tidus." Eggs are next - he remembers two, so he cracks them in with the dry ingredients. How he does this without looking at the bowl is perhaps the most impressive feat of all. "It's about how you use 'em. I mean, I certainly don't have to overcompensate with fancy flipping."

Beating the eggs in now with a fork first, to break the yolks. Calm yet aggressive, two things that shouldn't be used to describe anything together, yet here he is anyway. Fork's traded in for a spatula next, and the batter slowly comes together, looking more like it's ready for the pan.

"Please, I'm not gonna eat that."

There's no worry from Tidus from Inigo's frantically growing concern, a scoff given, but there's no reaction from him as he's clung onto one side like a damsel in distress in need of her (his) hero.

But this is now just a slander zone. There's nothing coming out but what these two are spitting out at each other, ready for the other to take their shot so they can send theirs back. Does Tidus care about the pancake part anymore? No, he's more interested in what comes out of Roland's mouth to get him riled up.

Like digging on his flips.

"You can't compensate with anything when you've got no moves, old man. Worried about breaking that back? You put your plate of goods out in front of someone and you're gonna make them cry. And trust me, that's not for more!"

Pancakes. He's talking about pancakes.

Yeah, don't mind Inigo over here. He's still very much clinging to Tidus - perhaps since he has no clue what else to do, since nothing seems like it's going to make the two stop short of the train suddenly flying straight into the sun. Or maybe since the other is letting him, and Inigo may as well take advantage of the opportunity.

And instead there's just a tiny: "I would eat Roland's food without crying.."

Because that's what they're talking about, right? Pancakes?

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