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"Hmm.."

He hums in concentration as he tries to do what Roland is telling him. Thankfully Inigo does have the advantage of still being young and capable of taking in new information more easily - or this whole 'catching up with the modern world' thing would have been doomed from the start. But he manages to at least follow what Roland is saying. Trying to swipe the screen, looking for the icon..

"This one?" He glances over to Roland's phone. It looks like the same one!

(Of course Inigo has absolutely no idea how much effort Roland has had to put in to get caught up to today's newest and most populair apps - he figures that of course, with Roland being Roland and therefore amazing, he would know! By default!)

He's already clicking it, his eyes growing wider with surprise and amazement as the front page of the app appears on his screen.

"There's so many.. pictures? No, wait, they are moving! Those are videos!" See, he's at least got some knowledge about these things stored away in his brain already! Thanks to the train for teaching him what a video is... Although this device sure is a lot smaller than the ICPs back on the train.

Inigo's got it right on the nose, so Roland will let him explore on his own before he pipes up with another explanation. He will, however, let them get more settled in, letting go of Inigo for a moment so he can stand and adjust the living room as nightfall comes creeping slowly in. More lights are switched on, revealing a clean space, almost unused. Straight lines, shelves and china cabinets with pristine plates and cutlery...but also walls adorned with countless picture frames spanning decades of memories. And now there are more to come, more moments to snap, like the selfie with the newest member of his family.

He returns to Inigo's side after the light he switched on for their photo is switched off again. Remind him to get rid of that thing and change it to a more flattering lamp. Roland sits in his spot and drapes an arm around the back of the sofa, peering in whatever it is Inigo has discovered on the wonders of the internet.

"So, found anything interesting yet? This app - short for application - is about showcasing all sorts of videos to its users. You can watch people record themselves singing, cooking, even eating!" Roland's forgotten what it's called, but some of his interns described it as an eating show where people pay the person on camera to eat for them and he didn't want to jump into that strange, strange rabbit hole. So he'll keep going to what might actually interest Inigo -

"...Even dancing. Dance videos, where groups or solo artists rehearse in front of a mirror. I've seen a couple, myself." He isn't sure how to breach the topic, but he's already at the precipice. Aware that he's no longer physically close to Inigo's age now, so it may come across as awkward. But Roland desperately wants to try for both his sons, to connect with them in this second half of his life.

He clears his throat nonchalantly, and continues onward. "Maybe in time, you can set up an account and upload your own. People would watch and learn from you."

It's a sign that Inigo is starting to get a bit more used to being here that he doesn't move when Roland does - just letting the older guy stand up and take care of the lights. His initial first few days here had been rather nerve-inducing, worried that maybe he somehow couldn't stay, constantly trying to stick by Roland's side as much as he could, like he would disappear from this world the moment he'd lose sight of Roland.

But while it hasn't exactly been long since he first came to this world, it's been at least long enough that Inigo knows he won't suddenly find himself back in Ylise. Or nowhere at all. Roland leaving his side isn't enough of a reason to panic anymore, at least, and as expected, the other is back at his side only a few moments later.

While Inigo has just been scrolling through this app, finding more and more videos appearing as he scrolls down, like an infinite supply of them. Just how many of them are there on this..?

When Roland mentions dancing, Inigo is already - slowly - typing it into the search bar once he's found it, planning on seeing what he can pull up, but the motions of his fingers stop entirely when he hears what Roland says as he continues.

".. my own?" Inigo, being both incredibly shy about his dancing and completely technologically illiterate, had never even thought about the idea of videos of him dancing.. Though as he's slowly considering it now, his cheeks turn pink as he looks up from the phone and over to Roland. "B-But how many people would see those then?"

"Well, you're pretty good at it. So I'm sure you'd get to a thousand, ten thousand, even a million views eventually." Way to induce his panic, Roland? But how could he lie to him when he's been nothing but confident about Inigo's abilities from the get-go? Especially after discovering his hidden talent, one he developed from watching his mother. It's so endearing to Roland that he can't help but support it, even if Inigo's never once thought about doing it in the new world.

To help his cause, Roland leans over his shoulder again to check what he's scrolling through. Finds a nice thumbnail and clicks it with his pointer finger. It's a tutorial of a dance that was just released, and he watches it with him with the occasional commentary. "See, you could do this easy. I'd record you. It doesn't have to be now, but watch more videos like this and you'll find your dancing feet in no time, pup."

It may be that Roland thinks too innocently of finding a community on the internet, but he'll warn Inigo about the dangers of the world wide web some other time. For now, he's content to open up this new avenue to him, something to make him happier as he settles down with their family.

"Well.."

Inigo's voice trails off, attention taken up by the video Roland starts. To a certain extent the other is right. It is something Inigo could do easily, and he recognizes as much when he watches the dance. The moves may be new to him, but he knows he'd be able to copy them with a bit of practice. It might even be fun - it's a little wilder and more poppy than he's used to back home, but he's always liked picking up new things, dance-wise.

But the idea of him being filmed is something else entirely. The idea of a regular crowd watching him was already always too much for his heart. And while he's let Roland watch him dance before, even that still flusters him at this point. He's just so shy about this.

But.. a million views? A million people watching him? Him? He doesn't even know how only a few people would have interest in him, let alone that many.

"T-That's so many people though, father. I.. can I really show it off to that many people? And what if they find it by randomly looking like this and don't like it?" Inigo may be anticipating the bad side of the internet before even learning it actually exists. Thanks, anxiety.

He makes an expression that isn't quite dismissive, but unbelieving. So confident is Roland in Inigo's overall ability, it didn't matter if it was something as intense as sky diving with a blindfold on. Roland knows Inigo can do it if he put his mind to it, driven by the thought of how much the boy has overcome in his life that nothing else could compare. Certainly not a dance that was beneath Inigo's skills! Roland's seen it for himself too; the complexity, the way his muscles knew exactly how to dance in a manner that betrayed such a lithe and toned form. The gracefulness he could have only developed through constant training, and inherited intuition from his mother...oh yes, Roland won't relent.

But he also knows how Inigo works, having spent so much time with him now. He can't push him too much; has to nurture the desire to do it for himself. Besides, new world or not, Inigo isn't a kid anymore. If he didn't want to do it, then that was his decision. Roland would only hope that he takes whatever avenues his modern nation can offer such a talented young man.

"Why don't we start with something more...bite-sized then? There's that, ah, app...Hold on." Maybe it wasn't the idea of posting a dance online that was intimidating, but the channel where he gets to do it on? He quickly excuses himself from Inigo's side again, if only to return to his own phone. He crosses his legs, one over the other, and ~~ignores the notifications from the office, he's not going to do this again~~ dials a number from the phone book. Puts the phone up to his ear as it rings four times before someone picks up.

His voice is very clearly different when he's talking to someone from work versus how he speaks to Inigo when they're in private. But the nature of this phone call is far from what Inigo might assume...And this is revealed immediately when the conversation keeps on.

"Hi, Sadie? Yes, yes this is the president. No, don't worry about it. I'm sorry to disturb your afternoon!" He hums, nods, laughs. Pleasantries, but this isn't what he called her for. "Fantastic, tell him I'm letting you off the hook tonight. It's Friday, go out to a bar! Heh. Anyway, let me make this quick. I just wanted to ask you something about the uh, smartphone app? The one you told me about." Roland's brows furrow. He makes affirmative sounds under his breath, before he starts wrapping it up. "Okay, so it should be pre-installed too? Yes, the smartphone is new. Alright, I can take it from here." There's audible laughter, loud enough for Inigo to hear, from the other end of the phone. Roland looks dryly on.

"Very funny. Thanks, Sadie. Good night." He presses something on the button and turns back to Inigo. Whatever bravado he had to offer his intern on the phone...is completely gone, now. Roland rubs the back ofh is head and makes to gesture for the phone Inigo has. Oh boy.

"So uh, pup. We could try looking at something called, Tik Rok? Can you check on your screen if you have it there? It should be labeled."

Edited 2020-11-13 12:50 (UTC)

.. hold on?

It's those two simple words that get Inigo's head to stop spinning with thoughts for a moment, gaze instead turning to curiosity as he glances over at Roland. At first he assumes Roland is making a work call - especially since Inigo doesn't even have any idea of how many the other is ignoring right now, he just thinks this happens to be the first one that had to be done this afternoon! - but his eyebrows raise further as he starts hearing just what Roland is talking about on the phone.

And in true kid fashion - despite the fact that Inigo is already late in his teens - he can't help but lean over and try to listen in. One hand resting on Roland's thigh to support him as he leans over, practically cheek to cheek with the older guy as he tries to hear what's going on on the other side of the line without even bothering to hide what he's doing.

Inigo can't really hear it, mostly just hears Roland speak, but he isn't giving up just yet! He lingers there all the way until the call ends, although he's at least good enough to stay quiet.

(Even though he almost asked Roland to say hi from him. Look, Inigo had to be careful at first when he showed up here without any real identity in this world - but now one has been forged for him, he sure wants to catch up on the socializing he's missed. Or rather, he just wants to get to know the people important to Roland, the ones he spends time with when he's away from their little family. But-- look! He's being good and not interrupting things!)

He does move back to sit on the couch properly again though when there's no more listening in to do. And scrolls down all the way until he sees the name of the app under the icon.

"This one?"

He's even already pressing it, since it looks right! Little does Inigo know what kind of Pandora's Box he's opening here...

"W--Woah, Roland! Something's playing already!" INSTA-PLAY IS TOO MUCH FOR THIS MEDIEVAL BOY, SLOW DOWN.

Roland is so comfortable with Inigo's presence that even when he tries to overhear the conversation, he doesn't flinch or move around. In fact, he might be happy to know Inigo didn't catch a single lick of that conversation, especially when all Sadie did at the end of it was to laugh at Roland claiming 'he can take over from here.' "No offense, Mr. President, but you're not exactly very good at these things." RUDE. He is a fast learner! He has a tablet for emails! A phone for calls and video chats with his cabinet!

But that bravado, that confidence, it all melts away the moment Inigo finds the TikRok app - it was spelled in one word apparently, such are the gimmicks of the modern world - and the phone speakers blast with a video that does indeed, insta-play.

"What in the - !?"

Guess who is also caught totally off-guard. First of all, Inigo did not press a single thing, so why was a video playing? Second of all, why in the world was this new smartphone so loud? Where's the volume control on this thing? The side buttons, right...?! And lastly as Roland and Inigo watch the short clip that plays for around ten to twelve seconds, he looks completely dumbfounded, resting a hand on his knee and leaning forward till it finishes rolling out. INIGO, PLEASE DON'T SCROLL DOWN LEST THEY GET ANOTHER INSTA-PLAY VIDEO --

"Why would you do that to your poor pet dog and post it on this thing...?"

Wow this is going to be the blind leading the blind, Roland that's a Time Warp Filter, but no one is going to tell him that today. He refuses to give his interns power by admitting he actually really did need their help!

Excuse me, what is that you just said? Don't scroll down?

Because that's exactly what Inigo is doing. Can you blame him? It's practically instinct! He's trying to get this sudden moving video of this odd, odd dog face away from him, so he's scrolling down in an attempt to make it disappear!

But of course that doesn't work. Instead of giving them blissful silence, it just goes right over to the next video, which happens to be this one.

.. which just makes Inigo's jaw drop as he stares at it. Unsure of what he's watching.

"Father.. What is that man doing?"

Please explain this modern custom to him?

"I don't....know!"

Why was this man making such weird arm gestures? Why is he making sounds? Who is he trying to be? Who is he trying to make fun of? Why was this worth turning on a camera for and posting on the internet???? Roland is not going to panic. This was an app. Made by humans. The humans of the modern earth. This was not going to defeat him. Goodness, he just wanted Inigo to have an app to use to post his dancing that didn't have to last a whole song!

Roland's frown is deep as he tries to scroll down further, attempting to at least lower the volume. Why do they keep playing without him having to press the play button? How much has he actually missed and what part of this is basic technological incompetence?? The answer lies in the next video that plays --

-- and he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it!! He makes a sound of frustration as his hands reach for his phone by his lap again, though his eyes are focused on what they're watching.

"Sadie, if you're pranking me..." He's already dialing her number. "Don't worry, pup. We'll get to the bottom of this." This is a NATIONAL EMERGENCY. Intern Units, please pick up, you punk teenagers showing him and his new medieval son an app that parades around as an agent of chaos! In the meantime, Inigo should get the hint to stop scrolling around, right? Roland leaves one hand on his wrist to try and signal him to pause, but since when could this guy control teens anyway?

It's all up to Inigo and the TikRok now.

Ironically enough Roland's reaction feels more reassuring to Inigo than it would have felt if Roland had just known what was going on. All of this is so weird, and Roland looking so confused and then frustrated is a good sign that this isn't just something Inigo doesn't understand because he's medieval. No, this is just a weird confusing universal constant.

And he's sure Roland will get to the bottom of this with this call, but Inigo just.. he can't help it. He's so morbidly curious now. He knows he shouldn't scroll and make more videos be displayed, but he wants to see what else this confusing, weird app is hiding from him!

So he does scroll while Roland waits for someone to pick up and help, and the first thing that pops up is this.

Which just.. makes Inigo stare.

He doesn't even scroll further, it just loops a few times. And unfortunately that means the algoritm has got him figured out by now. By the time Inigo does scroll on from it, the whole scroll only feeds him more and more clips of handsome shirtless guys posing for the camera, and Inigo can feel himself starting to sweat more and more.

Oh no. Why now. Why while he's right next to Roland, this is the WORST POSSIBLE CIRCUMSTANCE TO WATCH THESE VERY HOT CLIPS UNDER, HE FEELS LIKE HE'S DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL-- Inigo starts scrolling faster and faster to try and prevent Roland from seeing those videos, hoping something else will come up, but nope. It's just hot guys all the way down.

"D-Don't look!"

Yeah, Inigo, clearly he's not going to look while you're acting so suspicious. Sure helping your own case here.

It's to no one's advantage that Sadie has decided to do the Intern thing and take Roland's advice to clock out for the night, which means her phone rings and drops the call immediately after. He's not about to give up though, especially when its her and her team that introduced such a strange app to him. Once upon a time, he was aware of another similar app, though the name escapes him now...Something to do with plants? But had the same concept of chunks of video with overlayed music and text. When you see one, you've seen them all!

"I'm not going to leave you a voicemail, kid. Come on, pick up..." God forbid she answers his message in public; it wouldn't be a good image to have the president of the country waiting on your voice messages. But as he rings his phone again, raising it to his ear in a second attempt, Roland's eyes drift back to Inigo's phone, spurred by his son's sudden spike of nerves and a clearly red face. It worries Roland of course, the reaction immediate as he puts his phone down, his thumb on the speaker button. Did he upset him? Was this too much modern for his teen?!

"Inigo, what's - "

The TikRok that plays on blast is...an interesting one. Enough to pull him to the orbit of such a strange, almost erotic display. 'Wait a minute?! Erotic?!' Roland's eyes are transfixed until the entire video plays out, but he isn't able to react appropriately until Sadie, god bless her soul, answers the call and her voice is clear as day as it blasts out through the speaker. 'Mr. President, is there something wrong?'

Roland awakens to it, almost as flustered as Inigo now that more of this challenge TikRok starts playing on the instant that he scrolls down. More men slamming their palms and hands against the wall, trapping other men against them and - !

He almost fumbles with his phone as he responds rather heatedly, voice pitched high and in a state of near panic:

"H-Hey, what kind of app is this?! Is this one of those dirty programs?!"

Well.

These videos.. are.. something, alright. Of course Inigo has absolutely zero idea of what's going on, but does that really matter? Even if he doesn't understand context whatsoever here, all he can do is stare all the same, because the concept of this is just so.. so hot. Oh Naga, what he wouldn't give to be pressed to the wall like that by one of these handsome, muscled guys. Naga, he's seen what you've done for others, can you now do this for him...

Except the problem is still that Inigo is hyper-aware of Roland's presence. Especially when the other speaks up like that, panicked and loud enough to almost make Inigo's ears ring at impact. And there's absolutely nothing worse than fantasizing about being pressed to a wall by a hot guy right in front of your father, biological or adoptive or otherwise.

It's especially the use of the word 'dirty' that has Inigo choking on his own spot, breaking out into a coughing fit. The phone slides off his lap, lying abandoned on the couch between his and Roland's legs as more and more of the videos keep playing. Not that Inigo can even see them, he's definitely doubled over into his coughing fit, his face still bright red.

Roland's in a tizzy.

Between the laughter howling from the other end of the phone line, to Inigo suddenly hacking up a lung all of a sudden, he's not quite sure what to address first. So in typical Roland fashion, he goes for Inigo first, patting his back with a firm hand to try and placate his coughs, though it may only have just made it worse since half his mind returns to the other phone between them. Good Lord, people were bored on the internet if all they had to do to get a following was to take their shirts off and dance to some overlaid, generic pop music...Maybe he'll just never understand it?

He's forgetting the point of this whole exercise though, and it's for Inigo to discover the new home he's made for himself. Roland doesn't even want to think about what it might mean if Inigo is too overwhelmed with all this and won't want anything to do with this new and improved Earth anymore! He takes a deep, calming breath before he multitasks, finally speaking into the phone where his group of interns finish cackling at the President. The absolute nerve of the youth.

Thankfully, it's still on speaker, for Inigo's delicious benefit.

'Sir, TikRok is just a video hosting app! It's not dirty or anything, but you can't control what people post on it, y'know?' She sounds like she's trying to hold herself back from laughing again. Before Roland can even interject though, Sadie the Intern very obviously directs her voice to Inigo, who she knows is on the other end with Roland by sheer context.

'Heeeeey, 'Nigo! I'm glad you got to see those, you have fun okay? You know you can message your favorite content creators any time on your phone, if you wanna...talk to them and stuff! Heehee! I'll teach you how, get my number from your dad!'

Whatever Inigo's reaction is to this blatant disregard for his father literally sitting right next to him as they attempt to set him up with hot strangers, Roland puts the phone up to his ear after removing it from speaker in a slight reprimand. Something about how he needs further instruction on how to use this part of the internet, for Inigo's well-being and safety being the son of the head of state, and that if any man was to attempt to even court him, it would have to go through Roland first and foremost.

"...Is that understood? And to begin with, I have connections to sons of diplomats! Inigo could have a much better chance with the son of the Espanyan ambassador than these...these...ridiculous looking internet stars!"

The phone call does eventually end, but Roland is still going to try to catch his breath. And his nerves. What just happened?!

This afternoon sure turned a lot wilder than Inigo could ever have expected from Roland coming back home early. Though maybe not in a bad way necessarily - especially since the coughing fit doesn't kill Inigo, thankfully. His face is still very red, sure, but he's finally sucking in some oxygen again now, the coughing stopping enough for him to be able to actually hear Sadie's voice over the phone.

.. though Inigo has no idea what to say back to that. His mind is still processing the fact that he could actually.. talk to these people. These hot guys. He could talk to them. And they may talk back to him. To him!

Thankfully - or maybe not? - Roland takes back control over the phone before Inigo can even say a thing, and then just has to add even more hot guys into the game here. The son of an ambassador? That sounds so fancy! What would they be like? Exotic? Handsome? Ugh, when he decided to come over to Roland's world, he didn't quite expect it to be filled with handsome guys! Not that his father isn't handsome for a guy his age too, but--!! Maybe Roland was just an outlier and shouldn't be counted!

It's Inigo who finally breaks the silence after the phone call is over.

"F-Father, I.. I don't think you have to worry about any guy courting me.." Why would they want to! He's just some weird otherworldly guy! Please, he doesn't even know how a blender works. Inigo is pretty sure blender-challenged guys aren't attractive to handsome guys!

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the redness on his cheeks when he properly faces Roland again.

".. though I don't think these men are ridiculous looking, if anything they are quite handsome..." Yes, that's Inigo's voice slowly descending into a whisper, not wanting to lie, yet not wanting to offend his father's - apparent - delicate sensibilities either.

Before he even has chance to correct him - of course they would want to court you!, and if they had Words to say, then they would face the full wrath of the President of the United States! - Inigo already mutters something he didn't expect. Sat this close together on the couch, it's impossible not to hear him trail off, even if he mumbles his voice so that the words obscure under his breath. Roland looks at Inigo with wonder, eyes slightly wide. The phone in his hand is given a tertiary glance, before he blinks.

Roland might be back to his normal age and self, but he's by no means a complete and total prude! In fact, he would be the first to encourage Inigo to widen his social circle as soon as he's comfortable with the modern world. And if that meant going on a date or two with a guy he meets along the way...so be it! That's how you learn what you like and what you don't in life partners!

Inigo's into commitment, right?

Gah. Roland is thinking too far ahead in this parenting thing. (Was Will going to grow up this way too?! Did he want a girlfriend or - ?!) He shakes his head, then holds the phone up to Inigo so he can see its screen. The TikRok home page is there, but thankfully, has stopped playing videos for them to screech at. Or drool over, depending on who's watching and asking.

Roland points to it.

"You mean you like guys that come up in videos like this?" Just confirming. Just making sure. He wants to get to know Inigo in this new space! This new territory! Can't make mistakes! He asks again. "This is your type?" The dancing, macho, super muscled guys who seem to always know their angles even in selfie mode?

Huh. Maybe the son of the ambassador of Espanyan was the wrong pool to fish from. He can take Inigo with him to state dinners instead, the West Coast probably had his kind of guy...This is what Roland is thinking about now, okay. Don't stop him!

If Inigo's face wasn't already beet red a moment ago, then it surely is now. Who would have thought he'd ever end up in this situation, huh? A few years ago he was still fighting every single day, hardly having the time to eat or sleep, and now he's here sitting on the couch with his father asking him if he's into hot, shirtless guys.

It sure is a wild, wild, difference, but somehow this feels much more terrifying than facing down any single Risen.

"W-what?"

The word is squeaked out. What does he even say to that?! Is this something people usually talk about with their parents?! Sure, Inigo was never close to his biological father, but he was close with his mother and she never asked him about any guys or girls he liked! Was it since he was still young? Is Roland maybe the one being weird here?! Inigo has no idea!

All he knows is that he's stammering, cheeks red, gaze nervously darting around. What does he say!!

"I.. uh, well.. I-I don't know if I'd say it's my type.." He's trying to be honest, really, though said honesty is coming out in bits and pieces with how flustered he is right now. "I-I like all sorts of men, father! With these I just.. um, I like their.. their confidence..!"

And their hot six packs BUT HE IS SO NOT SAYING THAT. Nope. Nuh-uh. Can't make him.

Inigo, please. This isn't even the talk yet.

H-How would Roland give him the talk?! Inigo probably had more experience in this field than he does! Is the talk the same if your kid liked guys?! No, he has to focus! Don't panic, Roland! Let that stoic face save you once more!

"Hm. Confidence. That's...Hm."

He isn't aware that his nonchalance about this awkward topic is making Inigo blush to the point of tears. Roland just takes the new phone, christened with the amount of shirtless single men that TikRok has zeroed in on, and hums again. Taps his fingers against the side of the phone case and rests his free hand under his chin.

"That makes sense. You have to be confident to post things like this for everyone to see." He nods, determined. Looks at Inigo, as if renewed in energy. "Okay. I've got it. Don't worry, pup. I won't let you down."

Does that sound ominous? Exciting? Inigo, is your Earth Dad just about ready to get you in the dating scene, modern world style?! Stay tuned! Because right now, it seems like a done deal, with Roland patting him on the shoulder twice and walking off, stood and headed back to the kitchen.

"Let's get pizza. Or wait, pasta? What do you want for dinner?"

HOT MEN???? Gosh, just tell him, son!

...

Roland won't let him down over what?

Roland won't let him down over what?!?

That statement is definitely omnious. Especially since Inigo has no idea what it means. Is Roland going to find him some shirtless guy to date or something?! But what if his personality sucks! Also, is it normal for your father to do that kind of thing for you? Is this some modern world custom that Inigo just has never learned about, or is it just a Roland thing? Is disaster about to strike?!

Inigo can only wish he knew. Will, why are you at summer camp, please come back and save your big brother....

Inigo shoots up, already moving after Roland, practically sticking to the older man's side. Partially because he's still internally - and partially externally, if that blush is to be believed - freaking out about all of this, but it's also just natural clinginess, not wanting to miss even a minute of Roland time now he's finally gotten some.

"U-Uh, the last time I had pizza it was pretty good.."

The hyping up of pizza people did back on the train certainly wasn't a lie, Inigo has found out that much.

But clearly he's not just following the other man to talk about food, okay. He has to just.. gently.. try and find out..

".. Father, is it alright for me to ask you something? I, um.. Is it.." Ugh. HOW IS HE SUBTLE ABOUT THIS. His gaze is darting around so nervously at this point. "Do you think there is a difference.. between courting someone in this world and in Ylisse..?"

Still not subtle enough, Inigo feels, but at least it's not a direct 'DAD ARE YOU TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH A RANDOM SHIRTLESS DUDE I'VE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE', okay.

Good luck trying to communicate that without actually saying it, son!!!

He nods at the pizza suggestion and in true Roland-who-can't-cook fashion, opens the freezer and takes out two boxes, frozen and rock solid. He's not a five-star chef, but he'll never be caught unprepared without ready-to-cook meals, okay! They're set down by the counter before he bends to check on the oven, preheating as instructed. Roland talks over his shoulder when Inigo follows and asks him questions.

"Courtship between here and Ylisse...?" Roland parrots in slight confusion, standing upright now that the oven is set and all that's left is to wait a few minutes till the pizzas come out of their box to be cooked. He starts taking said items out of the cardboard, and places them on a sheet tray. (It's nice to know he's back to being familiar with his own house.)

"I...don't really know how to answer that, pup. I don't know what courtship in Ylisse was like to compare." And while this isn't necessarily a red flag question, he does find it in himself to ask - of which he does while the tray of pizzas is in one hand, his other resting against his hip. Coolest image ever.

"Why...?" Roland quirks one eyebrow up. SUS. VERY SUS. And may be the chance opening Inigo needs!

You can't call sus on him when you're standing there holding frozen pizzas, Roland! You're no president right now, you're just a non-cooking dad at home!

And maybe this is the most ridiculous way ever to have this conversation. The two of them standing in the kitchen, the oven starting to heat up in the background, the frozen pizzas. A topic that's way too serious for a setting like this.

And yet somehow the topic is ridiculous enough at the same time that maybe, just maybe, this is the only proper way to have this conversation.

(Although Inigo is still going to try and skirt his way around it, try to be subtle somehow, just watch him--!!)

"Well.. If Will wanted a girlfriend, what would you do?"

And by 'subtle' I of course mean that Inigo flips the question around in the worst way possible to try and hide his own true question.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH FROZEN PIZZA AND TV DINNERS, SON

The oven's yet to reach its intended temperature, so he has time to focus on such weird questions. Seriously, is Inigo trying to tell him something here? Was this a modern dad test he's about to fail? Roland doesn't mean to pause and linger, but he has to be careful -

- though darting around the issue of whether or not Roland was about to hook his son up with some foreign ambassador's hot boy might not have received Inigo's expected result. Immediately upon hearing that question, Roland's expression falls dry, suddenly straight-faced. This could make for a funny picture, in retrospect.

"...Did he meet someone in summer camp already?"

Gosh, how young did people start dating these days!! He doesn't know how to feel about this!! Where's his kid raising manual!!

Edited 2020-12-07 14:03 (UTC)

"What? No!"

At least Inigo is quick to shut that one down, rather than run with it and use it as an excuse for his line of inquiry. It'd sure make things easier, but there is one thing Inigo would never do, and it's never ever throw his new precious baby brother under the bus for anything. Will is so sweet, he doesn't deserve that. He should only have good things, always.

Please know your big brother is out here protecting you, even if it crushes his own dignity, Will... He doesn't want dad to think you suddenly have some major interest in girls when you come home!

"O-Of course not, it's.. a hypothetical!" Granted, with how weird and shifty Inigo seems to be acting about it right now, it's easy to believe he is trying to cover something up for Will.

Except all he's trying to cover up here is his own nervousness about this topic and not wanting to be too direct about the specific question he wants to ask Roland.

"A what if! Come on, father, don't dodge the question!" WE WON'T HAVE THIS FROZEN PIZZA UNTIL YOU ANSWER. DON'T MAKE HIM TURN THIS KITCHEN AROUND.

WOW, JUST AS HE'S ABOUT TO PUT THESE PIZZAS IN THE OVEN!! There's a distinct pause he takes where one foot is ready to pivot back to the hot oven, but he's staring at Inigo like he's trying to suddenly process these questions.

"Hypothetical...?" He quirks an eyebrow up, and taps a finger against the side of the tray he's holding up. Was there something he missed...? There's seriously something he's not understanding here, but there's no figuring it out this way. He might as well just indulge the question.

"All right." He says, though he sounds a bit unsure of his words. "I mean, he's not dating in this household until he turns forty but..." That's a joke. Or is it. Roland shakes his head, a misplaced jab at the wrong time, but he's trying to avoid his own fluster, never having a moment to even think about his sons bringing home partners. Introducing him to lovers!!! It's making Roland blush as he scrambles for something logical.

Instead, what comes out is -

"Err. If he wanted to date, I'd...I'd ask him why? Does...he like her? Enough to date her? And what about her does he...enjoy spending time with - gah. Okay. Wait. Redo."

He's thinking. HE'S THINKING!!!

Until he's forty?! Please, Roland, Inigo isn't even sure if he himself is going to turn forty in the first place! That's a pretty tall life expectancy for someone from his world and time, okay, and Inigo isn't too sure if living in this world is going to make it miraculously go up for him? Do you expect him to be a spinster for the rest of his life?

But before he even has the chance to whine about that in the slightest, there's that other weird near non-answer from Roland taking up all of his attention.

"Wait, redo?!"

Come on, dad! You can't give him a weird answer and then say you're going to give a different one! (It's hard to tell if Inigo even catches onto just how flustered Roland is right now - probably not.)

"Father, you need to have some sort of idea about this! Especially since you implied you were going to try and set someone up with me only a few moments ago!" Ah, there the true matter behind all of this rears its head.

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