Unless you count my cousin Owain, but you actually can't count him when it comes to that. I know it's just all some sort of dumb hero act on his end. It's mostly just embarrassing.
I suppose that makes sense. Any one can be confident if they pretend to be. But I know where my strengths lie, and I've worked hard to improve myself. So it's not an act for me.
What about you? Are you saying you're not a confident person?
How could Fang Duobing ask him this. The single most difficult question for Inigo. It's a good thing it's just text, because Inigo absolutely does not want the other to see the kind of face he's pulling right now. T-Think, Inigo, think--!! ]
I can peel apples with my sword. I'm good at it. One long peel!!
I can't even tell if you are trying to compliment me or insult me!! What reason do I have to go along with this when you are telling me that I SHOULD BE GETTING BULLIED??
I'm not going to reply anymore! I don't have to stand for this! Have fun by yourself!
What's wrong with a little bullying between friends, if it pushes you to recognize your strengths, huh?? Isn't it worse to not be able to speak well of yourself when there's clearly plenty of things to speak to??
That text is just a mess to reply to. Inigo is half-tempted to stick to his word and just not reply at all anymore - especially since thankfully his previous text left him such a good excuse to do so.
But the more he thinks about it, the more Inigo feels like a jackass if he'd actually do that. He doesn't want to make Fang Duobing feel bad. But the thought of replying honestly to this text is so messy, because--
W-Well, what is it even going to make Fang Duobing think of him in the first place?
...
Ugh.
This suck. It sucks!!! Being too nice to ignore it sucks!!! ]
People usually say there is nothing to speak of when it comes to me.
[For what it's worth, he's glad that Inigo came back and didn't really leave him to "have fun by himself". It's not like he intended to upset the other boy. It's just... Isn't that how friendship is? If you can't trust your friends to help you see the truth of yourself, then who can you trust?]
[...Clearly not whoever Inigo has been talking to.]
I don't.
And what people? Are they blind? It'd be better for them in they were. At least then they'd have an excuse for knowing so little about it.
[ Ugh. This is so hard to figure out. See, this is why he sucks! He bets Fang Duobing doesn't have to think nearly as hard about the stuff he writes before he sends it! ]
[He doesn't really like the long pauses or the answers he's getting back. How could there be nothing to see in him? How could no one else see the things that he does? That Inigo is a good person. That he's kind and loyal and brave. Surely, he's the sort of person who would go far in the world-- The kind of mettle he's shown, the determination to make the future better... Those are difficult things to find.]
Well, I can tell you that you're wrong.
I just don't understand why you don't see it yourself. Is it because of what those other people have said?
[ It sounds avoidant, though it's more Inigo genuinely not knowing. That's why this entire conversation is so hard for him. He knows some answers, but just doesn't want to talk about them. And for other questions-- Well, he doesn't know the answer at all.
The next part feels a little pathetic to type, but Inigo is pretty sure Fang Duobing of all people won't leave him alone until he elaborates, or otherwise the other might assume he's just being avoidant, so.. ]
It's not strange, if that's how you feel about it. But I do think it doesn't do the justice you deserve.
[Inigo has only ever been kind to him. Why he won't show that same kindness to himself is as much as mystery to him as, well... Any time Li Lianhua offers advice that he's never once taken. How can it be so easy to treat others sensibly but themselves with such strictness and disdain?]
I take back what I said before. I won't bully you.
I still think you have more worth than you can see, but I'll find some other way to show that to you.
[ Judging by those latter words, it's not a total rejection on Inigo's end. There are definitely circumstances under which he would have totally shut this down, but he's feeling emotionally vulnerable enough in this moment to be completely unable to pull up some front right now.
So, it's just.. ]
I don't want you to feel obligated. I will be fine either way.
[ Should friends share their troubles? That sounds fake, Fang Duobing. Inigo is pretty sure that's not how it works. Maybe that's why his fingers hover over the device, unsure of how to reply for a moment.
Maybe he should start with the obvious. With the truth. ]
I trust you.
[ You have no idea just how much, Fang Duobing. He means that so much. ]
It's just that I am not used to this. It makes this feel like it isn't right. [ Not that it's a total rejection of what the other is saying.
It's just Inigo trying to explain his trauma messy, messy feelings.. Because he cares for Fang Duobing. Because the other is so nice. Inigo is making a real effort, because he cares too. ]
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Unless you count my cousin Owain, but you actually can't count him when it comes to that. I know it's just all some sort of dumb hero act on his end. It's mostly just embarrassing.
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What about you? Are you saying you're not a confident person?
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I am an incredibly confident person!
What makes you think I'm not an incredibly confident person?
[ Maybe this text, Inigo.
Maybe everything. You're not subtle. ]
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Alright. Fair enough.
Tell me something you do well.
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How could Fang Duobing ask him this. The single most difficult question for Inigo. It's a good thing it's just text, because Inigo absolutely does not want the other to see the kind of face he's pulling right now. T-Think, Inigo, think--!! ]
I can peel apples with my sword. I'm good at it. One long peel!!
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[Anyway!]
You'll have to show me that sometime!
Tell me another thing you do well.
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How many things are you going to make me tell you about?
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Everyone should have at least five things they know they do well.
You've said one, so now you'll need four more.
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That's not even a real rule!
You're making it up!!!!
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If you're a confident person, then five things should be easy. Come on, what's your second skill?
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Fang Duobing, you can't do this to me! I thought we were friends!
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You're good at caring about others. There, that's two. Now you think of the next one.
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I'm not going to reply anymore! I don't have to stand for this! Have fun by yourself!
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What's wrong with a little bullying between friends, if it pushes you to recognize your strengths, huh?? Isn't it worse to not be able to speak well of yourself when there's clearly plenty of things to speak to??
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That text is just a mess to reply to. Inigo is half-tempted to stick to his word and just not reply at all anymore - especially since thankfully his previous text left him such a good excuse to do so.
But the more he thinks about it, the more Inigo feels like a jackass if he'd actually do that. He doesn't want to make Fang Duobing feel bad. But the thought of replying honestly to this text is so messy, because--
W-Well, what is it even going to make Fang Duobing think of him in the first place?
...
Ugh.
This suck. It sucks!!! Being too nice to ignore it sucks!!! ]
People usually say there is nothing to speak of when it comes to me.
[ So how is he supposed to see anything either? ]
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[...Clearly not whoever Inigo has been talking to.]
I don't.
And what people? Are they blind? It'd be better for them in they were. At least then they'd have an excuse for knowing so little about it.
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Do you seriously see that much in me?
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Of course. I see someone that's worth my respect.
Don't you?
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No.
I don't think there is anything to be seen in me at all.
[ Any other answer would just be an act. ]
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Well, I can tell you that you're wrong.
I just don't understand why you don't see it yourself. Is it because of what those other people have said?
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[ It sounds avoidant, though it's more Inigo genuinely not knowing. That's why this entire conversation is so hard for him. He knows some answers, but just doesn't want to talk about them. And for other questions-- Well, he doesn't know the answer at all.
The next part feels a little pathetic to type, but Inigo is pretty sure Fang Duobing of all people won't leave him alone until he elaborates, or otherwise the other might assume he's just being avoidant, so.. ]
I have just never felt any other way.
Is that so strange?
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[Inigo has only ever been kind to him. Why he won't show that same kindness to himself is as much as mystery to him as, well... Any time Li Lianhua offers advice that he's never once taken. How can it be so easy to treat others sensibly but themselves with such strictness and disdain?]
I take back what I said before. I won't bully you.
I still think you have more worth than you can see, but I'll find some other way to show that to you.
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You don't have to do that. You know that, right?
[ Judging by those latter words, it's not a total rejection on Inigo's end. There are definitely circumstances under which he would have totally shut this down, but he's feeling emotionally vulnerable enough in this moment to be completely unable to pull up some front right now.
So, it's just.. ]
I don't want you to feel obligated. I will be fine either way.
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Besides, friends should share both their joys and their troubles with one another. I won't let you battle with this alone. Just trust me, alright?
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Maybe he should start with the obvious. With the truth. ]
I trust you.
[ You have no idea just how much, Fang Duobing. He means that so much. ]
It's just that I am not used to this. It makes this feel like it isn't right. [ Not that it's a total rejection of what the other is saying.
It's just Inigo trying to explain his
traumamessy, messy feelings.. Because he cares for Fang Duobing. Because the other is so nice. Inigo is making a real effort, because he cares too. ]🔒
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