[Yeah, but it's less personal to start with the other stuff.]
It's not that difficult. [At least, the doing isn't difficult. The watching is, sometimes, when there's nothing more to be done.] The hardest part has always been making him stay put, but there's not very far to run here. He's only tried it a few times, and not with very much success. He should know by now that there's nowhere he can go that we won't find him.
[That... might be a threat. But he doesn't mean it to be. Mostly.]
[Even if Inigo did mean it with more concern, Fang Duobing would never take the implication as anything but Li Lianhua's problem. The sheer level of self-confidence encased in him obliterates any other possibility. He himself is perfect, but he'll always wait outside Li Lianhua's door with a fist full of Get Well Soon balloons for whatever demons are plaguing him.]
Right? I'm a great friend, but he gets so stubborn about it, saying there are better uses of my time. Can't a man decide what's worthwhile on his own? If I say my time is best spent next to him, then it is and that's that.
[ .. man, Li Lianhua really sure did get A Type clinging to him, huh.
Not that Inigo minds. It's a good thing. If Fang Duobing is sinking his teeth this deeply into caring for Li Lianhua, then Inigo is just glad that someone is caring for him this much. It's more just that Inigo is imagining how terrifying it'd be if this sort of thing was turned towards him..
Thanks for being the lightning rod here, Li Lianhua. Inigo will be eternally grateful. ]
Fang Duobing, you're so scary!
How is he supposed to stand any chance against you? [ He's still joking, okay! Still making sure this is all Light and Okay!! ] It's an unfair match for him!
So if you are his best friend, then what does that make that other friend?
He's not just third wheeling your friendship, is he?
[ Just watch as Inigo will forever find ways to refer to Di Feisheng that can be anything but 'poison friend', which - for the record - is the one he's using in his head now. ]
[If only Inigo could hear the noise that Fang Duobing made on the other side of the phone screen.]
Go on, I dare you to say that to him. He'd never stand for being third in anything. He can barely tolerate being second.
No, I'm the one they keep secrets from. Can you believe it? When we first met, I didn't know who either of them were, and they were always running off together for this and that. Aren't they lucky that I'm nice enough to allow it now? They probably need the pretense of having secrets to feel enriched, when one of them has no one to fight and the other has nowhere to run.
[ .. which would be a cruel thing to say if one were to leave things at that, but that's of course not what Inigo is doing here. He could never. He'd feel so bad about it. ]
And yet you are being so nice to both of them. Really, they should probably consider themselves the most lucky people in the entire world, getting all that kindness and care from you despite it all.
Well, you're right about one thing: They should feel like the luckiest people alive because they are. But that doesn't make me the third wheel either. Maybe the wheels don't need to be ranked, huh? None of them are unnecessary because they all do different things.
Whatever Li Lianhua is to Di Feisheng, that's not something I am or want to be. Whatever I am to Li Lianhua is not something Di Feisheng can be. The people that both of them are to me are not exchangeable or replaceable, and I'm sure it's the same for them as well.
I have every reason to be confident in myself and my abilities. I come from a good family, my skills are unparalleled, my swordplay is excellent, and my looks are good as well. Shouldn't I be rightfully proud of that?
[Confidant? More like arrogant. Feel free to hang up on him at any time, Inigo.]
You don't think there's even one bad thing about yourself at all?
Not even one slight thing?
[ Sorry, but he can't hang up. Mostly because he's BAFFLED at this very idea. What is it like to live like that, especially when Inigo is so busy picking apart every single one of his own many bad traits at any given moment? Just imagine living without that.. ]
Unless you count my cousin Owain, but you actually can't count him when it comes to that. I know it's just all some sort of dumb hero act on his end. It's mostly just embarrassing.
I suppose that makes sense. Any one can be confident if they pretend to be. But I know where my strengths lie, and I've worked hard to improve myself. So it's not an act for me.
What about you? Are you saying you're not a confident person?
How could Fang Duobing ask him this. The single most difficult question for Inigo. It's a good thing it's just text, because Inigo absolutely does not want the other to see the kind of face he's pulling right now. T-Think, Inigo, think--!! ]
I can peel apples with my sword. I'm good at it. One long peel!!
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It's not that difficult. [At least, the doing isn't difficult. The watching is, sometimes, when there's nothing more to be done.] The hardest part has always been making him stay put, but there's not very far to run here. He's only tried it a few times, and not with very much success. He should know by now that there's nowhere he can go that we won't find him.
[That... might be a threat. But he doesn't mean it to be. Mostly.]
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He is trying to get away from you that badly? [ He instead writes - meant to be a light tease.
He just hopes Fang Duobing can pick up on that intention, even without Inigo being able to insert the right tone into the words. ]
Even though you're such a good friend?
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Right? I'm a great friend, but he gets so stubborn about it, saying there are better uses of my time. Can't a man decide what's worthwhile on his own? If I say my time is best spent next to him, then it is and that's that.
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Not that Inigo minds. It's a good thing. If Fang Duobing is sinking his teeth this deeply into caring for Li Lianhua, then Inigo is just glad that someone is caring for him this much. It's more just that Inigo is imagining how terrifying it'd be if this sort of thing was turned towards him..
Thanks for being the lightning rod here, Li Lianhua. Inigo will be eternally grateful. ]
Fang Duobing, you're so scary!
How is he supposed to stand any chance against you? [ He's still joking, okay! Still making sure this is all Light and Okay!! ] It's an unfair match for him!
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[There is no lightning rod. There is only the storm.]
He might as well give up then! I'll go easy on him if he forfeits. I'll only remind him that I'm his best friend once a week instead of every day.
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He's not just third wheeling your friendship, is he?
[ Just watch as Inigo will forever find ways to refer to Di Feisheng that can be anything but 'poison friend', which - for the record - is the one he's using in his head now. ]
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Go on, I dare you to say that to him. He'd never stand for being third in anything. He can barely tolerate being second.
No, I'm the one they keep secrets from. Can you believe it? When we first met, I didn't know who either of them were, and they were always running off together for this and that. Aren't they lucky that I'm nice enough to allow it now? They probably need the pretense of having secrets to feel enriched, when one of them has no one to fight and the other has nowhere to run.
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[ .. which would be a cruel thing to say if one were to leave things at that, but that's of course not what Inigo is doing here. He could never. He'd feel so bad about it. ]
And yet you are being so nice to both of them. Really, they should probably consider themselves the most lucky people in the entire world, getting all that kindness and care from you despite it all.
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Whatever Li Lianhua is to Di Feisheng, that's not something I am or want to be. Whatever I am to Li Lianhua is not something Di Feisheng can be. The people that both of them are to me are not exchangeable or replaceable, and I'm sure it's the same for them as well.
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Inigo stares at the message, not entirely sure whether to admire it or to be jealous of it.. ]
Just how confident of a guy are you?
You seem to surprise me with it every single time.
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I have every reason to be confident in myself and my abilities. I come from a good family, my skills are unparalleled, my swordplay is excellent, and my looks are good as well. Shouldn't I be rightfully proud of that?
[Confidant? More like arrogant. Feel free to hang up on him at any time, Inigo.]
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Not even one slight thing?
[ Sorry, but he can't hang up. Mostly because he's BAFFLED at this very idea. What is it like to live like that, especially when Inigo is so busy picking apart every single one of his own many bad traits at any given moment? Just imagine living without that.. ]
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Why? Are you trying to tell me there is?
[You would say that? To him??]
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I mean.. Not that I can think of? You seem fine to me. You've always been nice to me. I was not trying to insult you.
I just don't think I have ever met someone like you before.
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It's alright, I didn't think you meant offense by it, and I'm not offended regardless.
You've never met... What? Someone who had nothing bad to say about himself?
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Unless you count my cousin Owain, but you actually can't count him when it comes to that. I know it's just all some sort of dumb hero act on his end. It's mostly just embarrassing.
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What about you? Are you saying you're not a confident person?
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I am an incredibly confident person!
What makes you think I'm not an incredibly confident person?
[ Maybe this text, Inigo.
Maybe everything. You're not subtle. ]
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Alright. Fair enough.
Tell me something you do well.
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How could Fang Duobing ask him this. The single most difficult question for Inigo. It's a good thing it's just text, because Inigo absolutely does not want the other to see the kind of face he's pulling right now. T-Think, Inigo, think--!! ]
I can peel apples with my sword. I'm good at it. One long peel!!
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[Anyway!]
You'll have to show me that sometime!
Tell me another thing you do well.
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How many things are you going to make me tell you about?
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Everyone should have at least five things they know they do well.
You've said one, so now you'll need four more.
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That's not even a real rule!
You're making it up!!!!
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If you're a confident person, then five things should be easy. Come on, what's your second skill?
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