Inigo only starts to look more awkward at that question. Not even necessarily because it's a bad question to ask on Fang Duobing's part, but more just because Inigo knows the answer to said question is kind of embarrassing..
So he can't help but keep his head ducked a little when he answers.
"I don't know. One of them just kept saying he wanted to fight me, and then-- Then he kept saying that I wouldn't be able to hurt him, and that he was stronger than me! Even though I was twice as tall as he was!"
Do you see why it's so embarrassing to him now, Fang Duobing? He was bullied. Bullied by a child!!
It's strange, but... That description sounds suspiciously familiar. Not that there's only one child who might profess to being stronger than Inigo (apparently multiple children could get away with saying that, true or not), but there is one that said almost the exact same thing to Fang Duobing himself.
"Hmm. Well..." He looks thoughtful, scrunching his mouth up to one side briefly, and then asks: "Did you fight him?"
Inigo sounds a touch offended, like he thinks it's an insult to assume he would fight a child. No matter how capable said child claims to be. It just wouldn't feel right!
It's definitely why he lets out a huff before continuing to add: "Do I look like the kind of man that fights a child? It would practically be bullying! We don't fight children where I come from!"
Well, at least.. regularly, they don't.
But Inigo is trying to not think too hard about his awful future and its Risen plague.
Fang Duobing can't help but blink at the offense in Inigo's tone. It's not like he asked if the boy had hurt him-- What's wrong with having a light spar with a child that's eager to play with swords? How else is a kid supposed to learn?
"If the child is claiming he can best you, then why not prove otherwise to him? Should he keep thinking that he can challenge adults until one takes him up on it with the intent to hurt him?" Or worse, he doesn't say. He thinks his point is clear enough as it is.
"An important part of learning swordplay is understanding your limits. It's not bullying to show a child they've overestimated themselves."
And if they haven't... Well, that's a lesson for Inigo to learn instead.
For a moment Inigo is quiet. His lips are tightly pressed together, like there is something he wants to say-- yet he isn't saying it. There's definitely a reason why he's so reluctant to really hurt a child. More than one, actually.
But naming them means having to talk about some stuff he truly does not want to talk about. Not even with someone he likes and trusts. So Inigo shoves it down, his lips finally parting so he can suck in a breath of air.
And then the avoidance starts.
"Have you been going around actually fighting the children, Fang Duobing?"
There. Now it's no longer Inigo in the hot seat. Now he can just continue down this track, steering the wagon further away from things he doesn't want to talk about.
Like Fang Duobing doesn't see that avoidance. He narrows his eyes a little at the question, then looks off to the side with a bit of an eye roll, a shake of his head maybe. Isn't this a little too ridiculous of a hang-up to be having?
But fine, he'll play along.
"I had one ask me. Of course, I let him know I wouldn't be using my own sword against him." Not that he... had it at the time. But he wouldn't have used a real sword regardless. He just doesn't understand the insistence that children not be engaged in swordfighting at all, some of which is couched in his own steadfast opinions. So Inigo is going to have some trouble steering him away from this one.
"Why are you so against the idea? It can't just be bullying-- Sparring is meant to be used for teaching. So give me a real reason."
Sweet Naga, it's like no one is allowed to just live out their trauma at peace around Fang Duobing. Inigo briefly wonders if the other went around lifting up rocks when he was younger, just to see what's underneath them. It sure would explain a whole lot about the way the other is now, anyway.
"I could ask you the same thing! Why are you so much for the idea?"
That's also weird, Fang Duobing! Consider that other people may have different perspectives, and yours isn't the default!
"Most children don't learn to fight where I come from, you know!" Well, Inigo did. Obviously.
But he's the exception to the rule for a reason. Even if the apocalypse had never happened, he still wouldn't have gotten to sit on his butt as a prince.
His perspective is the default because he's right!
"So none of them should learn how, just because most don't want to?" He challenges, though that's not exactly what Inigo said, and the difference soars past him unnoticed. It just doesn't even cross his mind that there wouldn't be children who want to learn to fight. It's something that he's dreamed of his entire life. It's in his blood.
"Tch. Maybe I just think that you shouldn't go around telling children to forget about their dreams. If they want to learn to fight, then encourage them. Don't make them feel like their effort is meaningless."
"It's not like I told them they couldn't fight at all!" Inigo says, moving up his hands into the air, almost like Fang Duobing is holding a gun to his head, rather than just his sharp tongue. "I just told them that I wasn't going to fight them!"
There's a difference there! Even Inigo, who often doubts his own judgment, knows that there's a difference there. Sure, maybe he would have told those kids not to fight if he had lingered around to talk to them for longer, but he wasn't really eager to stick around a bunch of aggressive kids, his own housemate included..
He opens and closes his mouth a few times, like he isn't sure what to even say in the face of Fang Duobing's weird intensity.
But saying nothing about it - just letting it pass - feels weird too, especially at this point.
"Seriously, is this some personal thing for you?" It's got to be, right? Fang Duobing might get a little worked up about stuff from time to time, but this feels way more intense than the usual to Inigo.
"Is it one for you?" he shoots back, brows lifted and tone accusing-- but he relents after only a second or two. Heis being unusually dogged about this... And it's not like the reasons for his strong feelings aren't personal. Inigo already has his hands up in defense; he doesn't want to back the other boy into a corner.
"...Sorry. It's a little personal." He concedes that much, looking away for something else to focus on. Oh, right. Wasn't he fixing some snacks?... He uses that as an excuse to disengage from the tension as he goes to the counter where he cut up some pears and fetches a plate of those.
"Here." He sets the plate at the table and then takes a seat himself. It's just... A little awkward to talk about this. That's all.
"I wasn't always as talented as I am now, you know. I had my share of difficulties being taken seriously."
Well, that makes things make a whole lot more sense here.
Not that Fang Duobing can't be a little intense about stuff from time to time, but this certainly was on a new level entirely. This being something personal to him explains the reaction, and Inigo can already kind of see what the other is getting at just with the very brief summary Fang Duobing gives.
It's not a sentiment fully foreign to Inigo either, but considering he has actively tried to present himself as someone who is not meant to be taken seriously in the first place, he doesn't find himself caring as much about it as Fang Duobing seems to.
He frowns a little bit. Not angry, but just-- concerned for his friend.
"Why wouldn't they take you seriously? Even if you may not have been as talented before, you're still an extremely driven and passionate person by nature!" Unless Fang Duobing has truly changed at some point before Inigo got to know him - but he really can't imagine the other any other way. It's how he can say this so naturally, practically instinctively. "Isn't that worth being taken seriously?"
It's not something that he talks about often. It's not relevant to his life now, to look back on his childhood years and reminisce about his difficulties. Why would anyone need to know that Fang Duobing used to be wheelchair-bound, that he had been so ill that his mother feared to even name him until he was five.
But Inigo is asking, and maybe it's something worthwhile to tell, so they can understand one another a little better.
"I was born sickly. When I was a child, I couldn't even walk. My... My uncle tried to teach me swordplay, but he was impatient and grew frustrated every time I couldn't hold a sword." That's not the truth of the relationship, but what else could he do but gloss over the fact that it was his father. The full story was much too complicated for one sitting, and this much is enough to tell already.
"My mother tried to console me by saying that I didn't need to learn, she would take care of me. No one could understand my frustrations, that I wanted to learn but I couldn't make my frail body hold a sword meant for someone who could stand."
"Then... Someone else came along and offered me a small wooden sword." He obfuscates again, this time out of respect for Li Lianhua and his secrets. It doesn't matter much, when Inigo doesn't know his name regardless. "He told me that if I could learn to swing it, he would train me. He didn't berate my shortcomings or make excuses for my inability. It was simple, straightforward; and most importantly, it was just like anyone else. With that lighter sword, I was able to make real progress for once."
"I could credit my determination to him. I still put in the work, even when it was painful, but he gave me hope that it could amount to something, that what I wanted wasn't out of reach."
It's.. a difficult feeling. On the one hand, Inigo can absolutely understand why Fang Duobing had wanted to pick up a sword so badly. It makes sense. He can't be sure what he would have been doing or wanting in that situation, but of course Fang Duobing needed something to take him out of that miserable situation with all those people looking down on him. It makes his insisting on letting the kids here fight make all the sense in the world.
.. on the other hand, there's still that nauseating feeling in the pit of Inigo's stomach when he thinks about how little he had wanted to pick up a sword, and yet it has been there in his hand so often.
He swallows the feeling. Even if it's difficult, he wants to focus on his friend right now. It's not strange for Fang Duobing to talk, but this is certainly the most vulnerable thing he's ever shared with Inigo, and he wants to make sure to honor that.
"I see what you're getting at now," he says, giving the other a gentle smile. "It's kind of you to want to look out for those kids and make sure they never have to feel like they aren't good enough."
It is the most vulnerable that Fang Duobing has been with him--save perhaps for the sharing of their wishes that had been foisted upon them. This feels... both easier and more difficult, partly because he can decide how much to tell and partly because he still has to be the one to tell it. He nods a little to Inigo's smile and his gentle words, his usual buoyance subdued into thoughtfulness.
"...It's not just about fighting, though. For me it's what I aspire to, and maybe for this child you encountered, it's also his dream." It certainly sounds like it is, but there's something about Inigo's push-back from before that he still wants to make clear. "But everyone should have a chance to chase their ideals as far as their ability allows them. I think that's true of all aspirations, so long as they don't cause harm. If you have something else that you dream of, you should be just as free to pursue it."
Inigo's gaze drops for a moment - not necessarily looking sad, but mostly just kind of shy in that way Inigo sometimes does.
There's still some sadness and even more complicated feelings, but he's shoving those down as far as he can, letting out a shy little laugh before he manages to turn his gaze back to his friend.
"Is that still your dream, then?"
Does Inigo realize Fang Duobing was turning this towards him? Of course. But that's why he's pushing it back towards the other so quickly. As long as Fang Duobing doesn't look too awkward about having to be vulnerable, then it's fine - Inigo wouldn't turn it back to him if it felt too delicate. But it's nice to hear Fang Duobing speak of himself, and Inigo really does not want to think about his own dreams and all the nauseating feelings that brings.
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no subject
So he can't help but keep his head ducked a little when he answers.
"I don't know. One of them just kept saying he wanted to fight me, and then-- Then he kept saying that I wouldn't be able to hurt him, and that he was stronger than me! Even though I was twice as tall as he was!"
Do you see why it's so embarrassing to him now, Fang Duobing? He was bullied. Bullied by a child!!
no subject
"Hmm. Well..." He looks thoughtful, scrunching his mouth up to one side briefly, and then asks: "Did you fight him?"
no subject
Inigo sounds a touch offended, like he thinks it's an insult to assume he would fight a child. No matter how capable said child claims to be. It just wouldn't feel right!
It's definitely why he lets out a huff before continuing to add: "Do I look like the kind of man that fights a child? It would practically be bullying! We don't fight children where I come from!"
Well, at least.. regularly, they don't.
But Inigo is trying to not think too hard about his awful future and its Risen plague.
no subject
"If the child is claiming he can best you, then why not prove otherwise to him? Should he keep thinking that he can challenge adults until one takes him up on it with the intent to hurt him?" Or worse, he doesn't say. He thinks his point is clear enough as it is.
"An important part of learning swordplay is understanding your limits. It's not bullying to show a child they've overestimated themselves."
And if they haven't... Well, that's a lesson for Inigo to learn instead.
no subject
But naming them means having to talk about some stuff he truly does not want to talk about. Not even with someone he likes and trusts. So Inigo shoves it down, his lips finally parting so he can suck in a breath of air.
And then the avoidance starts.
"Have you been going around actually fighting the children, Fang Duobing?"
There. Now it's no longer Inigo in the hot seat. Now he can just continue down this track, steering the wagon further away from things he doesn't want to talk about.
no subject
But fine, he'll play along.
"I had one ask me. Of course, I let him know I wouldn't be using my own sword against him." Not that he... had it at the time. But he wouldn't have used a real sword regardless. He just doesn't understand the insistence that children not be engaged in swordfighting at all, some of which is couched in his own steadfast opinions. So Inigo is going to have some trouble steering him away from this one.
"Why are you so against the idea? It can't just be bullying-- Sparring is meant to be used for teaching. So give me a real reason."
no subject
"I could ask you the same thing! Why are you so much for the idea?"
That's also weird, Fang Duobing! Consider that other people may have different perspectives, and yours isn't the default!
"Most children don't learn to fight where I come from, you know!" Well, Inigo did. Obviously.
But he's the exception to the rule for a reason. Even if the apocalypse had never happened, he still wouldn't have gotten to sit on his butt as a prince.
no subject
"So none of them should learn how, just because most don't want to?" He challenges, though that's not exactly what Inigo said, and the difference soars past him unnoticed. It just doesn't even cross his mind that there wouldn't be children who want to learn to fight. It's something that he's dreamed of his entire life. It's in his blood.
"Tch. Maybe I just think that you shouldn't go around telling children to forget about their dreams. If they want to learn to fight, then encourage them. Don't make them feel like their effort is meaningless."
no subject
There's a difference there! Even Inigo, who often doubts his own judgment, knows that there's a difference there. Sure, maybe he would have told those kids not to fight if he had lingered around to talk to them for longer, but he wasn't really eager to stick around a bunch of aggressive kids, his own housemate included..
He opens and closes his mouth a few times, like he isn't sure what to even say in the face of Fang Duobing's weird intensity.
But saying nothing about it - just letting it pass - feels weird too, especially at this point.
"Seriously, is this some personal thing for you?" It's got to be, right? Fang Duobing might get a little worked up about stuff from time to time, but this feels way more intense than the usual to Inigo.
no subject
"...Sorry. It's a little personal." He concedes that much, looking away for something else to focus on. Oh, right. Wasn't he fixing some snacks?... He uses that as an excuse to disengage from the tension as he goes to the counter where he cut up some pears and fetches a plate of those.
"Here." He sets the plate at the table and then takes a seat himself. It's just... A little awkward to talk about this. That's all.
"I wasn't always as talented as I am now, you know. I had my share of difficulties being taken seriously."
no subject
Not that Fang Duobing can't be a little intense about stuff from time to time, but this certainly was on a new level entirely. This being something personal to him explains the reaction, and Inigo can already kind of see what the other is getting at just with the very brief summary Fang Duobing gives.
It's not a sentiment fully foreign to Inigo either, but considering he has actively tried to present himself as someone who is not meant to be taken seriously in the first place, he doesn't find himself caring as much about it as Fang Duobing seems to.
He frowns a little bit. Not angry, but just-- concerned for his friend.
"Why wouldn't they take you seriously? Even if you may not have been as talented before, you're still an extremely driven and passionate person by nature!" Unless Fang Duobing has truly changed at some point before Inigo got to know him - but he really can't imagine the other any other way. It's how he can say this so naturally, practically instinctively. "Isn't that worth being taken seriously?"
no subject
But Inigo is asking, and maybe it's something worthwhile to tell, so they can understand one another a little better.
"I was born sickly. When I was a child, I couldn't even walk. My... My uncle tried to teach me swordplay, but he was impatient and grew frustrated every time I couldn't hold a sword." That's not the truth of the relationship, but what else could he do but gloss over the fact that it was his father. The full story was much too complicated for one sitting, and this much is enough to tell already.
"My mother tried to console me by saying that I didn't need to learn, she would take care of me. No one could understand my frustrations, that I wanted to learn but I couldn't make my frail body hold a sword meant for someone who could stand."
"Then... Someone else came along and offered me a small wooden sword." He obfuscates again, this time out of respect for Li Lianhua and his secrets. It doesn't matter much, when Inigo doesn't know his name regardless. "He told me that if I could learn to swing it, he would train me. He didn't berate my shortcomings or make excuses for my inability. It was simple, straightforward; and most importantly, it was just like anyone else. With that lighter sword, I was able to make real progress for once."
"I could credit my determination to him. I still put in the work, even when it was painful, but he gave me hope that it could amount to something, that what I wanted wasn't out of reach."
no subject
.. on the other hand, there's still that nauseating feeling in the pit of Inigo's stomach when he thinks about how little he had wanted to pick up a sword, and yet it has been there in his hand so often.
He swallows the feeling. Even if it's difficult, he wants to focus on his friend right now. It's not strange for Fang Duobing to talk, but this is certainly the most vulnerable thing he's ever shared with Inigo, and he wants to make sure to honor that.
"I see what you're getting at now," he says, giving the other a gentle smile. "It's kind of you to want to look out for those kids and make sure they never have to feel like they aren't good enough."
no subject
"...It's not just about fighting, though. For me it's what I aspire to, and maybe for this child you encountered, it's also his dream." It certainly sounds like it is, but there's something about Inigo's push-back from before that he still wants to make clear. "But everyone should have a chance to chase their ideals as far as their ability allows them. I think that's true of all aspirations, so long as they don't cause harm. If you have something else that you dream of, you should be just as free to pursue it."
no subject
There's still some sadness and even more complicated feelings, but he's shoving those down as far as he can, letting out a shy little laugh before he manages to turn his gaze back to his friend.
"Is that still your dream, then?"
Does Inigo realize Fang Duobing was turning this towards him? Of course. But that's why he's pushing it back towards the other so quickly. As long as Fang Duobing doesn't look too awkward about having to be vulnerable, then it's fine - Inigo wouldn't turn it back to him if it felt too delicate. But it's nice to hear Fang Duobing speak of himself, and Inigo really does not want to think about his own dreams and all the nauseating feelings that brings.