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[ It's been a long day.

A day made long by an event that was no more than an hour at most, but the effects of which have stayed. What happened in that hour, who it happened to. Their fears didn't turn out to be so exaggerated, Inigo and Tidus's, that worry of death -- even if it wasn't Roland's own.

But -- it's always real. That someone could suddenly lose their life, and they wouldn't know. It's not really exaggerated, when there's danger around. It could happen still to any of them.

It's a morbid road not worth going down. But the weight of 'what if' clings on uncomfortably, not easy to shed. And if Tidus is still a little tense after the fact, he knows Inigo must be worse. Knows for sure, since now, the other isn't making the same mistake of letting the once-President out of his sight. Tidus sees them both back at camp, eating together (at least doing that), the way before that he refused to leave his side.

Despite Tidus's earlier concerns, he wasn't as adamant about being in Roland's presence. As long as he was fine, as long as he stuck with someone, that's all that mattered to him.

It's not for Roland either that Tidus decides to approach Inigo. Catching him where he's set his tent up, and following after. That one spare moment he's given Roland peace, and Tidus will swipe it, soft-spoken when he speaks up. ]

Hey.

.. hi.

[ Inigo's reply is equally as soft. He knows this isn't just a normal 'hey', after all. It's just not possible after everything that happened today, after the sheer panic they experienced together during that time Roland just seemed gone.

And he's still tense over it, even now. It truly did feel like his fault back then that he had no idea where Roland was, no matter how much logical reasoning says it wasn't. It's half of the reason he's been constantly hovering near the man ever since his return, with the other half being concern over Roland's emotional wellbeing.

But this is Tidus he's talking to. Worry or no worry, Inigo isn't just going to ditch him right after saying hi. Especially when Tidus probably wants to discuss something, to be asking for his attention like this in the first place.

Should he ask what it is? Should he wait?

Inigo's gaze darts around before landing on Tidus's face.

No, first he should ask-- ]

Are you okay? [ He didn't get to ask that ever since Roland returned, after all, too fixated on the other to think much of anything else. ]

[ It's a little weird. Weird to be bringing up what's already sitting on the back of his tongue, knowing he wants to - needs to - frame it right. But his smile nonetheless picks up when Inigo speaks, and with that low energy radiating off Inigo so palpably - ]

Long day! [ Tidus laughs, light. They know why. ] But I'm okay. Sounds like we got trouble to worry about though. The work never ends.

[ Because it wouldn't be Tidus to be too gloomy, would it? To not brighten things up if he can handle it. He's standing, wearing his hands on his sides, but there's a pause, a shift, a foot scuffing the ground as he exhales. Builds up to what he wants to say. ]

I was wondering, uh... well. If you wanted to share a tent tonight. [ He waits, eyes flickering onto Inigo's face, but doesn't hold too long, wanting to explain: ] It's not that I think you need me or anything, but - after today, I thought you might... relax easy. ... You know.

[ Since you like it. But there's a pinch of embarrassment to be bringing it up, despite everything that he knows about Inigo. That he's asked for it before, but might somehow be reading the guy wrong. Get turned out, and not just because Inigo would rather be alone.

(Even if it's Inigo. Even if Inigo never wants to be alone.) ]

[ Despite everything about him still feeling so heavy, even with the relief of having Roland back with them, there's something about Tidus's usual spirit that makes it all feel a bit lighter. It's an effect Tidus often has on him, Inigo finds himself realising. Bouncing back more easily than him, taking Inigo right along with it. At least it does manage to make him smile, even though it's thin and tight.

But there's not much time to linger on that thought before Tidus already continues with something much less expected.

Inigo looks up, stares at him. He's quiet, like he's trying to think about whether this really is happening. Maybe he was just so exhausted from today's stress that he fell asleep while eating with Roland, and now he's dreaming? It doesn't feel like this is real.

It may be why Inigo's reaction doesn't evolve much beyond surprise for now. Still staring, maybe the slightest pinch of colour to his cheeks. ]

You.. You want to? [ There's a lot of vulnerability in the question. Tidus's offer seems so rare that it feels fragile, like Inigo may break it if he questions it too hard. ] .. you're sure..? It wouldn't be uncomfortable for you?

[ Especially considering the whole circus they went through over practically the same thing only just the other day...

But one thing is clear about Inigo's answer - he does want it. Tidus didn't read him wrong. His concern is more with the fact that Tidus may be offering it at the cost of his own comfort, just to make Inigo feel a bit better. ]

[ The circus of the other day isn't on Tidus's mind. If it came up at all, it was brief but inconsequential. It didn't mean anything, and if anything, it just reaffirmed that Inigo would welcome an offer like this. A time like this.

His mouth widens, he nods - though he does slowly cock his head as he looks aside, thoughtful. ]

Wellll- I think we're both going to be cramped stuck in one of the tents together. [ He looks back, a flash of teeth in his smile. ] But I'll deal with it if you will.

Think you can?

[ It's Inigo's call, all up to him. Though Tidus is already sure he knows the answer; knows what he'll be pushing for, if Inigo tries to worm himself out of it. Not when it's more than clear to him what the other guy would want to take. ]

Yeah. [ Apparently it's not something Inigo has to think about for long. The answer slips out of his mouth easily, despite his earlier surprise at Tidus offering him any of this at all.

But he just knows he wants it. Knows he needs it, even. Today's stress is still haunting him, and Inigo just knows that if he'd go to sleep by himself tonight, he wouldn't shut a single eye all night. He would just lie there, thinking about everything.

It's the same comfort he sought in Tidus the other day, back when it was the stress of the meteor on his mind instead. Except this time he can actually get it. Why would he say no to that? ]

Thank you. I.. [ He reaches up to rub a hand at still mostly dry eyes. He's not crying, but this is preventive, okay!! ] I'm trying really hard to not get mushy.

[ Since he is at least aware that Tidus deals with mushy a whole lot less well than he does. ]

But I am really glad you're offering. I'm actually pretty tired. [ He'll even admit that much for once, in return for the kindness Tidus is showing. ]

[ Oh no, is he crying? Tidus worries for a pulse, but then, it has been a hard day on Inigo. Whether or not he cries - he has been crying. Been on the verge of tears all that. It's fine, Tidus knows how he is.

So he won't remark on it, but takes the hint, and- ]

Then move your stuff over into mine. I don't have anything to do - it's all these other busybodies planning to stay up late!

[ If he could contribute any, he would, but even he's exhausted. From the running around, fighting, tidying, gathering. Every day is enough without the fears that plagued them about Roland that day, and-

He points a thumb in direction. ]

You know where to find me.

[ It wasn't like their tents were that far apart anyway. ...let's be real, they're close, and so the last thing he says is more playful than anything like a real 'see you in five'. ]

Busybodies staying up late, huh. Never heard of that one before.

[ Get it. It's funny because usually that's him-- okay, you get it. At least Inigo is self aware enough to be able to make jokes about it like this.

But today it sure isn't him. He knows he wouldn't be able to get anything done even if he tried. Somewhere between all the worrying about Roland and their desperate trip across the jungle the exhaustion has completely seeped down into Inigo's bones. ]

Come on, let's go then. [ Since their tents really are close enough that Inigo can easily grab a blanket from his own tent and be at Tidus's tent in just a few seconds to cozy up with him there. ]

Uhhhh huh.

[ Tidus knows how to go along with a joke, slip in that suspicious noise and drag it out.

But despite that, there'll be no fuss. Tidus goes to his tent and Inigo temporarily to his, the light pattering of a starting rain following them - coming down harder at every second. The tent front will be open for Inigo to shuffle himself in, not much in the way with Tidus thinking to move to a side. There's the blanket bought from Irivar, the pillow off his bed and its blanket rolled up for a second one. He's got a sports bottle of water beside him, but he'll sit up to move the flap of the tent aside when he gets the clue Inigo's coming. ]

Hey, get in quick! We don't need a bath in here! [ Haha- ] 'least it won't be stuffy tonight.

Coming, coming!

[ Inigo practically dives into the tent to get out of the rain, pillow under one arm, his blanket under the other. He puts both of them down next to Tidus's own, and then moves up a hand to wipe his half-wet bangs out of his eyes. That rain sure got a lot more intense really quickly. Maybe it really is for the better that he's in here rather than out there working.

(Although, knowing Inigo, he would have easily kept on working even in the middle of a total downpour.) ]

I guess they call it a rainforest for a reason.. [ Not that Inigo had heard of the term before someone used it to explain the concept of a jungle, but it's all coming together now. The rain is audible even now against the top of the tent, but if anything, it just sets the mood, somehow making things even a bit more cozy.

Kicking off his shoes, Inigo puts his head down on the pillow. ]

.. you know, I've been sleeping in a tent plenty of times, but this is the first time I'm doing it together with someone else.

[ Tidus rests back easy, exaggerated sigh to go with it. The rain is loud about their heads, a notch higher needed to talk, but Tidus can't mind it. His body is weary, tired from all that running around. He is so not planning to go back out there. ]

Really? How come? [ He's laying with his eyes closed for now, just focusing on the conversation. A conversation about nothing much - that's a good start. ] Everyone always have their own?

[ There's a hmm-mm affirmative sound coming from Inigo. His own eyes are still open, staring at the canvas above them. ]

And I never thought of just.. asking for this. [ Even though he probably could have gotten away with asking Lucina it. His guy friends for sure would never have believed him, and his female friends would just think he was hitting on them - but Lucina would have let him, he's sure.

If only he had asked. ]

It wasn't the kind of person I wanted to be back there. I didn't like the thought of being so vulnerable. So needy. [ Especially not under their constantly stressful circumstances, the constant battles. ] I mean.. I still don't like that now, but I'm trying to be more honest to who I really am, instead of pretending to be something I'm not.

[ He figures it's something he can tell Tidus, since the other might understand. The way he acted towards Tidus early on is a world apart from how he acts around the other now, after all. ]

[ An Inigo being someone else than the guy Tidus sees him as now... it really does feel like a life time ago. ]

You shouldn't. You should be the guy you wanna be. The guy you are. [ That, Tidus can speak assuredly though. He'll never say otherwise, and he knows he doesn't need to be dumb about it and throw in 'as long as you don't hurt no one'. That isn't any Inigo. ]

Mmm, good... sounds like we just need to work on you being honest about getting healed up then, now! [ A small scoff- ] Telling me you didn't wanna get healed before - you really think I was going to listen? The only right answer is 'Thanks', you know.

[ He teases, but he's not lying either, the words leaving his mouth in a crescent shape. ]

Ugh.

[ It's not even really a frustrated 'ugh'. This is more just a whine. Inigo's even kicking his feet a little as he says it, although - thankfully - not in Tidus's direction. ]

It's just-- habit! [ Well, mostly habit. ] I know it's not as if healing one headache or something like that is going to knock you out or even get close to that, but I still didn't want you to waste that bit of energy on me.

Oh yeah? [ He already knows, but hearing that... it takes Tidus a few seconds, before- ]

So if you saw me get knocked to the floor, I don't want you to help me. [ Is he really doing this- ] I don't want you wasting that energy picking me up!

[ His voice is even goading. He's absolutely doing this on purpose, knows what Inigo means.

But he still doing it. ]

[ And Inigo? Of course he knows exactly what Tidus is doing here. It doesn't take more than one braincell to figure it out.

Yet he groans all the same. ]

I can't believe you're doing this. [ And yet Tidus is here! Doing it! ] Besides, you healed me anyway, buddy! Even though I said no! Guess that means I'm going to pick you up even though you're also telling me no!

[ He turns his head, eyes already open, but Tidus has really got to look at the state of Inigo's exasperation as his grin widens more and more. ]

Yup! Sounds like we're stuck with each other. [ You couldn't believe this voice could get any more coy: ] Regreeet it?

[ This annoyingly stubborn-headed friendship? ]

[ Suddenly Tidus is looking at him.

And saying that.

Inigo is quiet for a second, but then all the exasperation melts away like snow under the sun. ]

Meeting you is one of the best things that ever happened to me. [ He's not even being sappy on purpose - though it would be a tempting revenge for that coy, coy voice Tidus is using.

But no, this is just the truth. And if lying together in a tent with the rain still pouring down isn't the appropriate setting to say that sort of thing, then what is? ]

How about that?

[ Ugh. He walked right into that one, didn't he?

Tidus's nose wrinkles first, mouth pressing tight. That sincerity that's always a dose too strong for him to handle, though it can't be called anything but touching. Sweet.

Except, who's he to get embarrassed, just leave it at that, when he invited this? So he laughs, a chuckle invited by the taste of Inigo's honesty, that tickles him throughout. Shaking his head, turning back to face that of their roof. His hands resting over his stomach.

It leaves him giddy, glad. It's a nice mood. ]

...Thanks. [ It's shy, if just a touch, a notion added by how he tilts his head a little, so Inigo can't see his face. A pause before he continues. ] I hope you meet better than me. Someone... special. [ Well- ] Lots of someones. A nice life.

[ And he wonders - has he ever asked? He will now, since, he's never been sure: ]

Do you want to go home?

[ There are two kinds of simultaneous 'ughs' going through Inigo's head right now.

First of all there's the 'ugh, he's so cute' thought. A thought he knows he's had more often before when Tidus got all shy over sweetness like this, but a thought that takes on a whole new meaning after Inigo's realisation only just the other day. And at the same time there's the 'ugh' at Tidus saying he hopes he meets someone special better than him, UGH, TIDUS, YOU STRAIGHT IDIOT.

But they're shoved aside in favour of wanting to answer the question seriously, his own gaze trailing up to the top of the tent too. ]

Yeah. I mean, I have something left to do. I can't just abandon my world before it's saved. [ That has been a constant for him, ever since he showed up here on the train. Even if everything else in his future was uncertain, he knew he had to save Ylisse first. ]

And after that.. [ Inigo pauses, suddenly unsure of how much Roland told Tidus. How much he knows. Maybe it's okay as long as he's vague..? ] I.. I'm going to ask Naga to make things alright for Roland's world. I thought then maybe I could live there too, since it's not like there's anything left for me in my own world..

[ His voice trails off.

A thought he already had the other day rises back up in his mind. ]

.. you know, if you want.. I could ask her to help you out too. [ He may not know the details of Tidus's separation from everything he's known and loved, but-- ] Maybe she could help you.. you know.

[ Reunite with Yuna, he means. Inigo kind of hates himself as he thinks it. What kind of idiot is he, suggesting the guy he's crushing on get back with the girl he loves?

But what else is he supposed to do? Yuna makes him happy. And Inigo knows it. ]

[ Getting Inigo's dragon to help him...

It's nice. As nice as when Senku offered to help him too, if with a different mood. The rain continues to patter on the material of the shelter around them, softer than before, but still a light drumming to his ears. A contentedness. A peace.

Acceptance. ]

What's Naga gonna think, you offering her out to help anyone? [ There's a tease to his voice, since- ] Old people you know, they're pretty grouchy. And, well-

[ He fingers slip together, his thumbs idly brushing off each other. ]

I'm fine. You should focus on Roland, help him out. His world - he told me too. They're gonna need all the help they can get. [ A lot of it. What's the world going to be like when they get there?

He lets his head rest on his shoulder, turned Inigo's way. A beat. ]

...I hope his son's okay.

He's going to be okay. I'm going to make sure of it.

[ It's a whole lot more confident than Inigo has any right to sound, considering that he isn't even absolutely sure Naga will listen to him, will be able to help. But.. she's their divine dragon. He has a connection to her. Surely she'll understand his plight when he tells her about it. Besides, he has to be confident. For Roland's sake, even though the guy isn't here with them in the tent. ]

But.. you know what?

[ Inigo's head lulls to the side too, looking back at Tidus. ]

You're doing the exact thing he did. Roland told me to save his son instead of him. [ Inigo laughs, like this isn't some big, heavy topic. ] You guys seriously don't have any faith in me. I can save as many things as I want to. I'm the son of the Exalt, you know?

[ What do they think Naga is, some sort of 3 wishes limited genie in a bottle? If she'll hear one request from him, then surely one more won't be so much on top of it.. ]

And Tidus, unless you can look me in the eye and say you'll genuinely be happier without me meddling in anything for you, I won't let you get away with saying this either.

[ His hand is a little far away, but Inigo reaches over all the same to grab a hold of it, even though it's a little awkward with their current positions. ]

We promised. First to give up gets dragged back by the other.

Edited 2020-11-29 21:43 (UTC)

[ Would you be genuinely be happier without me meddling?

The hand knocks into his weaves fingers, but they're not so wedded to be unthreaded. A look given to the challenge, eyes on Inigo's, but he falters quick. An opened mouth. Expression easing from the placid certainty he was in before to one more complicated.

'Happier'. It's not about being happy. Never was, and he can't speak the truth. 'I don't deserve it', 'I'm gone', 'I didn't take just me'-

He lifts his forearm of their hands joined, his hold not really there. Looking at that first. The chance he's had here... to have friends, to have a little more life; the SCA on his wrist: the choice made for him, a prisoner to another's whims.

The arm lowers, their hands with it, down in the space between them. Unsmiling, Tidus looks Inigo in the eye a second time. ]

I chose to leave, Inigo. [ It's a bitter truth, the contrast to these two situations. One chosen, one not. Lives taken in both, but only one tried to prevent. ] I made my choice.

And... [ He keeps his eyes closed, just for a moment. ] I'm not going to be alone, you know. I just won't be in Spira.

I know.

[ Well, he doesn't really know. But from the way Tidus described it before, Inigo assumed as much. Even so, though.. Tidus never sounds happy when describing it.

Even now. That look in his eyes from a moment ago, his mouth a thin line. Could anyone blame Inigo for worrying when Tidus looks like this? ]

But.. [ He hesitates. Too worried about pushing too hard. Isn't that exactly what held him back when Yuna disappeared? And back then-- back then he should have pushed harder in retrospect. Shouldn't have held back, shouldn't have let Tidus wallow in his own misery.

Maybe he needs to be brave now, and push. ]

You gave me that whole lecture. About having to be happy, even though there's no place left for me, even though my future is gone. You kept saying it, so now I'll keep saying it.

[ He swallows. It feels weirdly hard, his throat tight. ]

I'm not.. I'm not going to do anything against your will. I never would. But at least.. think about it. You've never had this chance before. That means you never got to make a fully complete choice. [ Because whatever the specific choice was - surely there couldn't have been any otherworldly shenanigans like this involved with it. ]

Edited 2020-11-29 22:19 (UTC)

[ Is it a bruise, or a wound? This tenderness they're pressing on, a truth he found ways to ignore: what he deserves, what he got; what he had no choice in, what he did. Inigo would get it if he told him, wouldn't he? He should go down with Zanarkand, leave with the city he sacrificed for everyone else. It's only fair. It's all we had. There wasn't any other choice, there wasn't any other choice-

The dim glow of an out he thought he held goes out, to divert the conversation into a place of optimism. And it's the choice being presented to him that makes Tidus struggle: the words he can't get out from his mouth, the uncomfortable shifting in place. He takes his hand from Inigo, removing it to join it back against his abdomen, half-fisted.

I'm not worth it. I'm not worth it. ]

I... [ He struggles, a breath held in his throat. And then each word comes pushed out, strained. ] Do you ever hate it here? On the train? You get to meet so many, you get to experience things you never would have if you didn't! But... but we never chose this. We're just getting used.

We never got a choice. And I-

[ I don't deserve a choice.

His point unravels. Where did he think he was going; what could he have possibly said? Trying to avoid where all his frustrations lead to, but he can't exactly dodge it.

But he wants to. Eyes squeezed tight, as pitiful and slow as it comes out of his mouth. ]

I don't know... how to... think about it.

night of bonus trek (imagination) ;

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